Relationships: 15 Signs He Is Emotionally Unavailable


Emotional unavailable 1

Your relationship started off so well

If we took a vote, you would see the bane of a woman’s struggles with dating in 2018 is the emotionally unavailable man.

He is charming, fiercely independent, detached, unwilling to commit, distant, and even cold at times. He has no time or patience for romance or affection. And most of all he is broken.

The ghoster He suddenly ghosts from your life, texts, and dating app for no apparent reason, leaving you clueless as to what went wrong. You’re left scrolling through his messages for clarity or a sign that he actually cares about you after all.

The breadcrumber He makes contact, just enough to keep you hooked and interested, while at the same time keeping you at an arms length, confused?! He wants to keep his options wide open.

The slow fader He gives vague responses such as, “I’m really busy right now, but drinks soon?” to try and let you down gently, without hurting your feelings. Coward. Then again, we’ve all done this haven’t we?

The bencher He treats you like a substitute football player. When his first choice is unavailable he’ll randomly text you for an ego boost. Late night booty calls and last minute invitations tend to be signals that you’re on the bench, not the pitch.

The haunter He still watches your Instagram stories, but makes absolutely no effort to interact or engage with you. In other words, he cares enough to want to keep tabs on you and your life, but not enough to actually be part of it.


Emotional unavailable


Sex? Yes! Emotions? Nope!

A woman dating an emotionally distant man, runs the risk of being shut down repeatedly and since her efforts to get closer will constantly be rebuffed, she will probably end up in a long and uncommitted relationship for years.

Click here to discover 5 Questions Every Woman Should Ask On The First Few Days

15 Signs He Is Emotionally Unavailable 

1. Does he cancel plans last minute? You arrange to meet a few days in advance and he sends a text a couple of hours beforehand, aka, right in the middle of your make up routine, to cancel.

2. Did he start off fast and furious? Week one he’s talking about whisking you abroad, having kids, what a great mother you are, how he’s going to introduce you to his parents, and wants you to help him choose his new home décor, by week four you can barely get a text response.

3. Does he give mixed signals? He blows hot and cold and transitions between chasing you and getting you to chase him with ease.

4. Is he still married? If he gives any indication that he is already attached or won’t disclose his relationship status, that should raise red flags all over the place! Be warned, he won’t leave his wife and if he cheats with you, he will cheat on you.

5. Are you dating with no labels? This “let’s not put a label on it” is a lame excuse. If he can’t bring himself to call you his girlfriend, then you’re single.

6. Has he recently broken up from a relationship? At this stage, all he wants is to forget his ex, or worse, replicate her. So he could be looking for a woman who is practically her twin, in an attempt to bring her back somehow. We don’t need to tell you that rebound relationships usually fail.

7. Does he help you in times of need? He knows you’re going through a crisis and promises to assist, yet bolts days before ignoring your calls. He always offers words of comfort but remains absent. Typical.

8. Do you have sex but don’t make love? When you’re intimate, you feel like he’s not fully present or connected. Maybe he’s cold and refuses to get close after sex.

9. Can you open up about your feelings? Or does he get irritated when the conversation gets too deep and change the topic.

10. Does he avoid introducing you to friends and family? You’ve been dating for months and you haven’t met the family yet. And you’ve convinced yourself he’s not ready. Sis.

11. Can you make future plans? He gives you just enough to think you do have a future together, but you’re not 100% sure what his intentions are.

12. Does he avoid PDA? He won’t hold your hand in public. As far as others are concerned, the two of you are just friends, because there are no signs of affection. He may also walk ahead of you. Sure, you may be a slow walker, but walking ahead of you creates distance, and that makes him feel comfortable.

13. Does he make excuses? He always says he’s going to be somewhere, and then he doesn’t show up, or he’s constantly late.

14. Does he blame you or his ex? A man who doesn’t recognize the impact he’s had on a relationship, isn’t really being open and available. Instead he is blaming you and avoiding responsibility.

15. Does he avoid posting photos of you as a couple? You’ve been dating for months and he crops you out of his profile pic. Or he’ll post a pic of his food on Instagram or Facebook to show off his cooking skills, but not the babe sitting across the table from him.

Is your man emotionally unavailable?

Leave a comment and let us know, we’d love to hear from you.

Until next time!

Click here to discover 5 Questions Every Woman Should Ask On The First Few Days

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  1. taniroselle says:

    There was a guy I was FWB with a few years ago. He found me on fb and immediately he came to visit, since I moved to another city. Then I expressed I wanted to get to know him better etc and suggested sex. After all At this point I was celibate for 3 years and he was the last man I had sex with. After that about two weeks later he told me he loved me. Can you say confused af?! Lol I’m like “OK?” We picked up heavy talking everyday, texting etc etc. Finally we had sex and I told him I loved him back two months later. Things got weird after. We argued for lack of communication then he asked me to wait for him. At that point I’m beyond perplexed. Seriously. I’m lost. I visited him a few weeks ago. He asked to see me monthly and I agreed. Now we barely talk and the convo’s are shallow. Now I’m thinking it was all about sex that I wanted to give in the first place. Lol Idek Something’s off about this. 🤷🏾‍♀️

    • taniroselle says:

      All of this occurred over six months.

    • blackcitygirlofficial says:

      How frustrating! You’re definitely not alone. Your guy is sending mixed signals. Unfortunately these games often leave women analyzing overtime, searching for a deeper meaning. He didn’t deserve you in the first place. Hope this gives you the confirmation to move on as there is someone in your future who will treat you like a Queen. Or else you might be tied into this mess for years and delay what you deserve from entering into your life.

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