Relationships: 5 Ways to Stop Dating Potential

Photo cred: @damnrottenkid

Damnrottenkid 1

How to STOP dating potential

Not going to take too much of your time know you have a busy week ahead mama nonetheless this is a post worth checking out because if you’re an ambitious black female, maybe you’re aiming for a graduate degree or you’ve just been promoted at work; now your career is sorted you’re probably looking around wondering where all the good brothas are at?

Maybe the guys you meet are hard workers

Yet they earn less than your perceived income. In an ideal world it would be lovely to say “money don’t matter” but money is one of those sensitive subjects that can impact even the most robust relationships.

If you don’t confront how money will be handled in your relationship EARLY it will cause resentment down the line, where you lose all respect for your partner or arouse negative feelings within him that motivate him to cheat, become unsupportive or abusive. Now we don’t want that do we?

Damnrottenkid 2

Say NO to bums

1. Know what your non-negotiables are

Before you venture into any relationship have your top FIVE non-negotiables sorted in your head. Know what type of men you refuse to deal with. For instance does he need a degree? Does it bother you if he has kids? Does he have to have a car? Does he need to believe in God? This alone will prevent you from dealing with men that you consider to be below your standard.

Sidenote: No matter what complexion or background you’re from, as a black woman you have every right to have a standard that you will not stoop below.

2. Look at what he has built before you

One way to sum up a man’s potential is by what he has achieved before you stepped onto the scene. What was he motivated to do in his own time without your support. That reveals the level of his own ambition and work ethic. You can also use what he’s built as a prediction of what he’s likely to build in the future.

If he says he wants to be a President of a country yet never reads and still lives at home past the age of 25 then you know he’s telling giant fibs. If he’s saved up and bought a place, has his own car, his own side hustle you know you’ve won.

DamnRottenKid 4

Communicate about REPSONSIBILITY

3. Sit down and have that talk

Let him know your expectations re: money and financial responsibility EARLY

You have to make it clear how long you are prepared to be the breadwinner and outline that you won’t give your womb over to have kids until he makes moves to get his finances and income sorted. 

Responsibility is like a muscle the less a man uses it the weaker it becomes therefore the longer this situation continues the longer it will remain that way.

4. Ask him about his future plans 

A year is enough time to decide whether a man is serious or just lazy and vice versa if he has any sense he’ll be watching you. Love and sex are fun but remember your marriage is a ministry you are together to fulfil a bigger purpose. 

5. Watch how he spends his money

He doesn’t have to necessarily make more than you but he must make enough to carry at least HALF the financial responsibilities and feel like a man while doing so.

Look at what he does with his money now. Does he save it or squander it? Is he in the club and buying kicks? Or is he investing it and saving it for a rainy day? << Ladies this is really important.

You are not superficial for applying due dillengence to your finances as your family’s security and future depend on it.

Love y’all! 💕

If you are dating and finding it really difficult to wait for sex and you need encouragement click here

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Relationships: Should Black Women Date and Marry Down?

So just incase you missed it, some of our favorite black couples have split up in the past few weeks. Household names like Mary J Blige, who filed for divorce from her cheating husband and manager Kendu Isaacs, meanwhile Iyanla Vanzant quietly ended her 14 year relationship and more recently Queen of neo-soul, Jill Scott is embroiled in a public slanging match with her ex-husband of 15 … [Read More...]

Comments

  1. Rmar Meade says:

    Great blog

  2. so what is the problem with guys that have kids? the follow up question is does the guy take care of the kid and involved in thier lives

  3. blackcitygirlofficial says:

    Rmar and Debo thank you for your feedback!

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