A few years ago I had the hugest crush on a guy 😍
My crush lasted for longer than I care to admit, he was tall, dark , a 9/10 in the looks department and I’m being realistic, he was beautiful.
His skin was chocolatey, velvety smooth and his bone structure looked like it had been hand crafted by an artist. Looool.
He also believed in God and actually read his Bible, had an amazing job, and was surprisingly down to earth, we were Facebook friends through Andrew as they had gone to the same college to do their Masters.
I remember the first time I saw Daniel I was mezmerized 😊
It was during a night out with Andrew and his boys and out of a group of around 10 guys, he was by far the most striking but as I was marked off as “Andrew’s special friend” I asked for everybody’s Facebook details as a ploy to add Daniel.
What he doesn’t know to this day is that looong before he ever messaged me on Facebook I was already stalking him on his page daily.
And low and behold what I discovered didn’t make me happy at all! He had hordes of female fans cooing in his comment section under his pics and I felt threatened.
Most of my Facebook pics back then were of me and my friends glammed up on a night out; it must have been after the second…or third album of pics, that he finally dropped me a message that I should add him on What’s App. Of course this was a big deal for me back then, I must have told everyone within earshot. Looking back I’m surprised I didn’t make a public service announcement. Haha.
We went back and forth on What’s App and realized we had a lot in common, we’d watched the same movies, read the same books, visited the same countries and wanted the same things in life. I remember he was the first guy to compliment me, on qualities that are important to me. Bless him.
He set up a date
And asked me to meet him in his neighborhood saying he knew a nice restaurant. After changing my outfit about a hundred times, I decided to wear a black body top, skinny blue jeans and over the knee boots. Sexy but classy was the look I was going for.
When the big day arrived, I applied flawless make-up and off I went for a night out with the guy of my dreams! We met at the restaurant and I remember women were staring at him even though I was the one who had made all the freaking effort. We grabbed a table and talked so much we ended up being the last ones to leave the restaurant.
No surprises he asked me back to his place
He was renting an apartment around the corner, and I didn’t need convincing honey my answer was a resounding YES. We got to his and he was showing me his biography signed by Nelson Mandela (impressive) and we continued to chit chat when he dropped the bombshell that he’d recently broken up with his ex.
Was I the rebound chick?
After a while I got tired and we ended up sleeping on his sofa with him cuddled up next to me holding my waist. I kid you not. The next day he paid for a taxi back to mine.
If he was a 9 before that night, he zoomed up to a 20 in my estimation. I was obsessed and thought maybe he was the one. However things swiftly went downhill over the next few months, all he ever suggested was Netflix and chill, “come over” he’d say “I want you to see my new place”.
So I deleted his contact or maybe it wasn’t that dramatic
I think I changed my number. Fast forward a few months and he sent me an invitation to his b’day party. He had hired out a bar in a nice part of town and again I thought this was another sign, not understanding that his entire female fan club was going as well. 😂
So off I went dressed to kill, in a black lace knee length dress and stilettos. Once we got inside I bought him a b’day drink and we had a dance and he kissed me on the cheek. Well after that I was on cloud nine.
Next day I got a Facebook message from him
Asking for my number claiming he’d call me as soon as he got back from Miami. This was in August to cut a long story short I didn’t receive that call until Christmas Eve, LOL.
He messaged excuse after excuse as to why he couldn’t call for FOUR months
Imagine. And to add insult to injury when he called on December 24th, he asked me out for that evening! “Are you free tonight?” He brazenly asked. Am I free? Oh boy I gave it to him. I knew right then that I was like his 20th priority, the girl he went to when his other “girlfriends” were busy.
Looking back it’s funny as heck that I was so infatuated that I let unacceptable stuff go.
4 Lessons About Men From The One That Got Away
1. You weren’t created to be an option dahling
You weren’t created to be the girl a man just hits up because he’s bored in the early hours of the morning, or 5th down the list of his priorities, like chewing gum on his shoe. You were created to be the first letter in his alphabet his A1, his main squeeze, take yourself seriously you are the key to his destiny.
2. Men have their own motives before they approach you
His motives are either genuine or disingenuous. Don’t take it personal. His motives have a lot to do with what stage of life he’s at. Your job as a woman is to filter men and figure out what angle he is approaching you from. Sometimes you don’t need an outright explanation, his behavior will tell you all you need to know.
3. He knows you are hot
He can see it! You don’t have to flaunt yourself and act like bait for a man to be genuinely interested in you, as it takes more than looks for him to want to spend time with you outside of the bedroom. No doubt you will catch his attention and may get him hooked for a while but ultimately looks will never keep him.
4. You can approach a man if you want
You can hatch a plan like I did to get closer to him. However we know that in most cases when a couple get married it was the man who wanted to get closer to the woman. The foundation of a relationship is everything, so if you insist on playing cupid, do that in the full knowledge that by chasing him, it will affect the outcome.
Until next time,
Love y’all! 💕