Photo cred: IG@pokagh
Dating while celibate is not for the faint hearted
A woman has to know her boundaries before convincing others she is waiting for sex.
When do you tell him?
At the beginning.
Some may disagree, but what’s the point of leading him on? You don’t have to blurt it out in the first convo, if you are attracted to each other, sex is gonna come up in one way or another anyway. You can use that as an opportunity to tell him. And if he doesn’t bring it up, ask him how he feels about sex then mention your own beliefs.
However saying you are celibate isn’t enough, because 9 times out 10 he will wonder if he can change your mind. Don’t take it personally, his ego likes a challenge and he’s probably heard it all before.
Men don’t respect words. Men respect action.
Speak in his language: let him know you are serious by following through with action through the entire dating phase.
1.Keep things old school
Texting replaces calling when people want to get straight to the point, that’s why grown boys looove texting, as they can get sex in a few interactions.
When sex is taken off the table, the whole process of ‘getting to know each other’ becomes more sincere, as you are naturally forced to engage in conversation. Try it, there’s only so long you can communicate non-sexually via text. And you know calling takes time–time is an investment–which leads to going on a date to do something that both of you have agreed you enjoy while speaking on the phone.
2. Be aware of time
This isn’t just about him calling before 10pm or whatever, it’s also about you being sensitive of speaking too late and what type of thoughts might come into his mind while hearing your voice late at night. As you get to know each other, you can be a bit more lenient but he is most likely to have sexual thoughts about you in the beginning. If you don’t want him to fall into the same patterns as he’s done with previous women, end your calls before midnight.
3. Go on dates during the day
Haha.. you’re going to have be inventive as you’ll be meeting up in the day for lunch, picnics and walks loool. That sounds basic but honestly by dating in daylight you are making a huge statement and setting the tone on how he views you.
Right away he’ll know you’re not a good time girl, whose up for anything
Your actions are saying I enjoy spending quality time with you
4. Be friends first
It’s likely your ‘no sex rule’ will be difficult for him to accept at first. To be fair a lot guys are used to getting sex easily these days, so bear this in mind. If he keeps contacting you, tell him there’s no pressure to be in a relationship, you guys can just be friends, but if he wants more of your time you guys have to be exclusive.
Does that mean he’ll sleep with other women, probably yes.
But are you in this to become another sexual conquest or his wife?
This is where most women give in and have sex for fear of another woman snatching their man.
5. Give him a time when you are prepared to have sex
He is human he’s not going to wait forever! So if you are waiting for marriage, you better tell him; men don’t just want sex they need sex.
Notice all the points above have something to do with time
Which sums up the beauty of celibacy, you get to take your time to get to know him properly.
To find out:
5 Ways to Meet Quality Black Men click here now