Get ahead | Succeed
As women we often have the urge to be nosey and to compare ourselves to the next girl
Whether we are running on the treadmill at the gym, standing in the queue at the supermarket or checking our make up in a mirror while in line for the bathroom at the club.
Girl, let me help you; like Michelle McKinney Hammond helped me:
“There is always going to be someone prettier, thinner, taller, funnier, smarter, richer than us, basically someone more “er” than us. Deal with it chile. Don’t be jealous, it makes you act and look nasty.”
Cara Delevingne is one of the few people who can pull off a scowl without looking constipated
When it comes to ex-boyfriends and the new boo, the level of comparison goes off the chart, thank God Instagram doesn’t zoom in real-time, or women would go in all the way to the little toe!
I think it’s natural that a part of us wants to know who he’s moved on with, regardless of the circumstances of the break up.
But our focus should be on the bottom line and that is: ITS OVER. You have broken up. You wouldn’t have broken up, hadn’t something (or someone) been amiss, things didn’t work out and this is where you are now.
Allow me to use an overly simplistic example here, I don’t watch tennis, but this is going somewhere. Imagine Beyonce trying to beat Serena Williams to win her number 1 spot! If it happens (on Mars) and she becomes number 1 in women’s singles tennis, it would be a great to win for the sake of winning, but it wouldn’t progress her career as a musician.
In fact, the time she took to train for the tournaments would have been better spent enhancing her own career, giving us music to buy on Tidal. It makes it a hollow victory to her as Beyonce the artist. Besides what would the hive do?
You can’t and shouldn’t be in competition for something you don’t consider a prize
The same applies to exes. If you don’t want to be in that relationship, don’t waste your time and emotions trying to posture yourself above this new girl, you don’t want the prize.
You have either quit the race or you were disqualified therefore; you are no longer in the running, so go sit on the grass somewhere and stretch your hamstrings – or you will catch a cramp which will make it hard for you to move forward.
Think about it like this; only a child would want to play with a toy when they see someone else holding it. You may not be dating, but do move on! Get busy with living a full life by building a thriving career – making new friends and growing with old ones, getting to accept, love and forgive your family and serving at your church.
And don’t forget YouTube, which has a great selection of random videos you can just watch all day, literally. Its happened to me many times, you can go from watching speeches by President Obama to videos of cats flushing toilets.
I recently read an article about the 4 benefits of a break up here are my top 3
1. It’s a relief
Even the Bible in Ecclesiastes 7:8 says the end of a thing is better than its beginning. You don’t need to front. You can exhale honey!
2. No more obligations
When you’re dating, you have to make sacrifices especially when it comes to how you spend your time. You attend functions thrown by people you don’t like and you are forced to chit-chat with people who left their personality at home, so you can be seen to be the (enter appropriate phrase here) girlfriend.
As a single person, some of the biggest factors to consider before leaving the house are “can I wait till I get there to eat? should I carry a jacket? Hmmm, I should set the DVR to record Empire.” Your drum. Your beat. Your dance.
3. You get to upgrade
Honestly, forget the ex and get excited for your next!
This is actually my favorite benefit. You enter a world of endless possibilities and unrealistic fantasies. Ok, ill share mine. Drake is single. I am single. ..Anything is possible for the person that believes. I hope my belief will be enough for the both of us!
Commit to stop looking at your ex’s and his new girlfriend’s social media accounts. Like Chris Brown said, talking about Drake doesn’t give him money. Apply that in your life, stalking intently following your ex isn’t going to improve your life.
Signing off with the words of Theodore Roosevelt “comparison is the thief of joy”
Blogs saved my life. They gave me hope in a very dark time in my life and expanded my horizon. I want to do the same for other women who may feel stuck in a life, job, or situation that no longer suits them. We aim to create an interactive platform for women who want to map out the future by curating the present and learning from the past.
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