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5 Ways to Spoil Yourself During Your Single Season
After your manis, pedis and blow dries, what next?
1. Forgive Yourself
For any mistakes you’ve made in past relationships. People often touch on forgiving others, but forgiving yourself is equally essential for healing.
You don’t want to be in a position where you meet someone amazing, only to let negative feelings from past hurt ruin the chemistry in your new situation.
Getting over past trauma gives us the preparation we need, to actually enjoy the process of meeting someone new
Which is meant to be fun and playful in the beginning, not filled with suspicion and anxiety, that your new date may treat you in the same way your horrible ex did.
When we’ve messed up, we can spend years torturing ourselves, replaying memories, trying to undo events that can’t be undone, with thoughts like:
“Why did I entertain them”
“I was so foolish for sleeping with them”
“I wish I’d never met them”
“If only it had ended this way”
“I want revenge”
Spend time in prayer. You’re a good person who made a mistake, not a bad person because you messed up. Promise yourself that you’ll cease condemning yourself for actions you can no longer change.
2. Invest in Your Relationships
Research suggests that relationships provide the strongest meaning and purpose to our lives. So make an effort to keep in touch with your family and meet up with friends, and follow through on spontaneous plans to go away.
If you don’t have many friends in your city, make plans to go away anyway, particularly during busy periods, like the holidays when you’re bound to meet new people, and perhaps stay in touch after your trip.
Your phone maybe good for selfies, but only an SLR camera, can capture those magic moments
And highlight them in their full glory. Life doesn’t start when you meet someone new, it’s already in motion, hence give yourself some incredible memories to look back on.
3. Think Positive
Not matter how old you are, you’re still too young to discard your innate ability to hope. Develop the habit of seeing the positive side of things. Bad things do happen, it would be silly to pretend otherwise, but we don’t have to let negativity color our whole outlook on life.
Never forget thoughts and feeling aren’t facts
You choose your reality
You don’t have to be boxed in by limited thinking
Replace “I’m not good enough” and “I can’t” with “I’AM GOOD ENOUGH” “I CAN”
If you’re not an optimistic person by nature, it may take time to change pessimistic thinking, however start by recognizing negative thoughts as you have them. Then take a step back and ask yourself these key questions:
- Is the situation really as bad as I think?
- Is there another way to look at the situation?
- What can I learn from this experience that I can use in the future?
4. Set Goals and Do Them
People who strive to meet a goal or fulfill a mission — whether it’s learning how to cook, starting a YouTube channel, or an exercise class — are happier than those who have no aspirations at all.
Having a goal provides a sense of purpose, bolsters self-esteem and brings people together. Funnily enough your goal isn’t as important as whether the process of working toward it, is meaningful to you.
5. Focus on Your Strengths
This point was in last week’s email: what you focus on grows. If you focus on your weaknesses and flaws, they’ll grow too, because you’ll keep finding more of them. Don’t spend all your time trying to get rid of perceived flaws, when you have so many unknown strengths. That’s a lot of energy spent in the wrong direction.
Focus on what you’re good at, really focus on it, and by discovering what sets you apart from every other woman, I guarantee, your confidence will grow in leaps and bounds.
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