Relationships: 5 New Year Resolutions Every Girl Seeking Love Should Try

People are saying “New Year, New Me” and getting criticized for it

new year

2015 is going to be your year, I can feel it!

Don’t let anyone tell you things can’t change for you this year. There are many examples of people who use their New Year resolutions to start afresh and try again. The key is to have faith that good things will happen and fight for them to happen. You can’t give up on yourself or your life.

I’m kinda glad 2014 is over

It was a year plagued with personal conflict, from fall outs with family members, to outgrowing friends, and poor time management on my part; I kept sabotaging our efforts to move forward.

I mean I said I wanted more, but my actions didn’t measure up, as my tempo slowed right down from a steady jog at the beginning of the year, to a leisurely crawl by December, due to a lack of motivation and feelings of frustration. Don’t get me wrong, I’ am grateful, because there were plenty of positives…

However, I was filled with self doubt for a good part of last year, stopping, starting, and changing various projects, along with being inconsistent and indecisive – which are primary symptoms of a low self esteem – but I had to go through to grow through. One compelling lesson I’ll take away is:

A person’s level of success is not determined by their talent or ability

A person’s level of success is determined by their level of self esteem 

Tennis star, Serena Williams had an accident in 2011 and nearly lost a leg, she quit tennis for a year to heal, and fell all the way down to the bottom of the tennis rankings, only to resurge to number one, 2 years later by employing a world class mental coach. These guys are rarely glorified, but cannot be underestimated; they are the most important aspect to every athlete’s squad, more so than a physical coach.

They don’t just drill the athlete, they enhance their competitive edge by raising their level of self esteem, to a point whereby they sincerely believe with emotion, that they are worthy of winning.

single mom

Now if like myself you come from a broken home

My mother left me at 3; the foundation of your self esteem maybe shaky, and even when you’ve worked on it enough to reach a state where you feel happy and secure to start a new project, you will inevitably confront your past pain at different levels of your journey.

As you wonder:

Why can’t I be more consistent?

Why do I give up all the time?

Why am I always stuck at stage 1 or 2?

Why are people who are less talented doing better than me?

If you’ve ever asked yourself any of the questions above well…

Ultimately we have to raise our self esteem, to have any hope of overcoming these patterns of behavior and to take our performance to the next level. That my friends has little to do with talent and ability.

Don’t fret these types of issues don’t prevent us from acting normal in our day to day lives, they are deeply rooted in our psyche, meaning you’ll only truly confront them, when you challenge yourself to do better in a new task.

So although my own level of self esteem is reasonable in some areas, I discovered that it was way below par in other areas, but that’s another topic for another day.

Having come this far, I’ve had no choice but to start working through some of my childhood trauma over the past 3 months (thanks for your patience) to gain a better understanding of who I’ am, to forgive and to let go, otherwise I’ll be going round and round in circles, making no progress whatsoever, and we aint got time fa dat…

I also want to take this opportunity to thank you

  • Guest bloggers for sending in posts, I apologize that your articles weren’t released sooner, they will definitely go out as planned.
  • Subscribers, you guys are just awesome! Emails will return this month, with several changes. *To be announced shortly
  • Special shout out goes to our 2 life-saving tech guys, who do everything we can’t.

Overall these past 2 years have been so much fun, getting to know you ladies, learning, maturing – it’s flown by. This entire project has been executed with you in mind, by myself, my sister and in part my brother.

This has been a big dream realized

Talking about problems in our community is one way

speaking

We decided to take action

We enjoy being of service to others, however please don’t take the information in our emails nor this blog for granted, re-read it, receive it, research it and if it checks out, run with it, to get ahead and succeed, as things are set to change going forward in more ways than one.

chapter 1

Chapter ONE is over…

The best is yet to come


 

5 New Resolutions Every Girl Seeking Love Should Try

The following post was written in collaboration with a male work colleague as an open letter to his future wife…

Dear Future Wife,

1. Get rid of toxic people

I know it’s unfair, but I will judge you based on those you hang out with most, and if your friends are all over the place, acting messy, talking behind your “friends” backs, or have no ambition, I will assume you’re the same.

When we cross paths the company you keep will either inspire me to spend more time with you and become a part of your world, or prevent me from taking you seriously.

2. Heal from past pain

Thing is, I’m human I can’t save you from your past pain plus I have a busy schedule, and as much as I’d love to pamper how you feel, I can’t do that all the time.

Yes, I find other women attractive, but the most important thing is, I want to be with you. So please cut me some slack, and give me a chance to show you that I can be trusted, because I’m not like the other guys.

3. Become self sufficient

I need a woman who has her own thing going, and can stand on her own two feet. Be easy going, supportive and ladylike.

Don’t forget if you’re the real deal I’ll be introducing you to my nearest and dearest (work colleagues, friends family) and Lord knows, I want to feel proud of you. Of course I want to spoil you, but I’d love you to look after me too, you know, surprise me, cook for me.

4. Be adventurous and find yourself while you’re single

When we’re together it’s no longer about you and me, it’s about us, a cohesive unit. Decision making will include both of us — as one — which means compromise.

5. Strive to be beautiful on the inside and out

Looks fade and physical beauty has an expiration date. So I’m looking for beauty in other places — places that don’t sag with age, an authentic love that doesn’t fade.

I mean, when I think about my own mother — my first love, the beauty I see in her doesn’t come from libido, but from her character. That’s the type of beauty I’m chasing in my future wife.

Love From Your Future Husband.

Your thoughts?

How to Get a Man to Fall in Love With You?

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Relationships: 5 Ways to Stop Dating Potential

Photo cred: @damnrottenkid How to STOP dating potential Not going to take too much of your time know you have a busy week ahead mama nonetheless this is a post worth checking out because if you’re an ambitious black female, maybe you’re aiming for a graduate degree or you’ve just been promoted at work; now your career is sorted you’re probably looking around wondering where all the good brothas … [Read More...]

Comments

  1. alexandria says:

    Thanks for this article, very encouraging and needed for the new year!
    (Also, I love the site, this is my first time seeing it)

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