Relationships: Why Men Hit it Then Lose Interest

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How he feels on the inside after he has conquered you

Men go through their hunting phase before sex to get sex

Men are very attracted to women they chase before sex

When it comes to men and the chase, your facial looks may not be the only reason he decides to go after you; there are plenty of prettier girls that he could pursue, however there’s something about you that arouses him.

How do we know a woman’s prettiness isn’t his top priority?

Because side chicks are nearly always physically uglier than wives, by this fact alone, we can deduce that a man’s sexual thoughts are ignited by what he finds sexy in a woman, not what the world finds sexy, or what you think is sexy, or what your friends say is sexy, but what he finds sexy in a woman, and that could be the slightest thing…

Your energy, how you engage him in conversation, or perhaps the way you walk, your husky laugh, or how you interact so confidently with others, your life story, how you groom and present yourself, and most commonly a particular area of your body.

In other words, simply being yourself: tall, short, curvy, flat chested, skinny, no butt, whatever – is enough to send him into a frenzy thinking about sex + you, sounds odd, but this is what really spurs him to chase you, not looking physically perfect or pretty, especially when he spends time with you every day.

Say that again!

A woman being physically perfect or pretty has little to do with how much sex appeal she has in his eyes

Only women, compete and are hung up about looks in this way, men can find the smallest things about you sexy

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The more he sees you, the more observant he’s likely to be, the more observant he is, the more active his imagination will become, and the more his imagination goes into overdrive, the more desire he’ll have to approach you and pursue you.

Oh so you thought he’d just watch from the sidelines? Get outta here…

Once he’s had sex with you several times, exhausting every position he can possibly think of, and having dispelled the mystery surrounding what it feels like to be inside you, he feels satisfied that he has conquered you.

Start-> His desire to break down your barriers -> Get inside you physically, mentally, emotionally -> Satisfy his lust -> His hunting phase ends

Now that his attempts at bedding you are successful, his hunting phase ends, and your hunting phase begins.

Men become very selective about the women they choose to keep in their lives after sex

Guys don’t necessarily lose interest because there is something wrong with you, in truth, they weren’t genuinely interested in the first place.

They thought they were interested because they were driven by what they saw (their lust) coupled with assumptions they subsequently made in their head about you in anticipation like, “I bet her energy will be amazing when we’re intimate…” “I bet she’ll talk dirty…” “I bet she’ll look great in this position…” and those are the PC thoughts…

Only to find that when they do actually bed you

The experience in reality, barely lives up to their fantasies, and that’s not your fault, you’re human – men aren’t the only ones who fantasize btw, women do this too…

So those sweet compliments he was paying you prior to sex weren’t fake per sae, but his ego was so driven to get you at any cost, that although he may have noticed a few things he didn’t like, for the most part, he had his blinkers on, and dismissed those aspects of your persona to focus on his aims.

For instance

He may not have particularly cared that you enjoy getting drunk or high before sleeping with you, but after sex, this characteristic may grate on him. In fact, he will start to scrutinize everything about you in much closer detail, once he has fed his lust and satisfied his ego.

Whatever he felt was minor before sex, will suddenly be a major turn off after sex, as he begins thinking, “You know she isn’t the type of woman I want to spend the rest of my life with” hence why he gets cold and distances himself.

Men and women both experience the hunting phase but in the opposite way

Women go through their hunting phase after sex to get love

Women are very selective about men chasing them before sex

The easiest time for a guy to get dumped by a woman is before she has sex with him (guys on the hunt instinctively know this and work to get you in bed as quickly as possible) oftentimes, she can dismiss him for the slightest thing, like a bad haircut, bad shoes or bad breath.

But once a guy has sex with her a few times or they enter a “friends with benefits” situation, she may start to get her hopes up, and become emotionally attached. The longer he fails to profess love or care for her, the more the balance of power shifts towards him.

Settling for  a “FWB” situation is bound to make her feel anxious and kickstart questions in her head, which cause her to go on the hunt:

Does this sound familiar? She wants more: he’s not ready. Women end up hunting out of desperation…

Start -> Her desire to know where she stands -> Change his mind -> Secure his love -> Her hunting phase ends

In her burning desire to get answers, she is unlikely to let a bad haircut, bad shoes, or bad breath stand in the way of her aims, as she has her blinkers on trying to win his affections – even if his actions show her that he doesn’t care.

Most women become very attracted to the men they’ve had sex with

The female version of the hunt has a different agenda, rather than securing sex, women want to secure love. We want to confirm that he cares about us, wants to be with us, and that all those compliments and gestures before sex were real.

Question is are women made to hunt? Or is this the number one reason so many of us are getting hurt and feeling unhappy?

The problem is, hunting automatically turns us into predators, and causes us to behave in uncharacteristic ways, in a bid to find out where we stand with men. Besides being on the hunt provides no security, and women need to feel secure in their relationships to be happy.

Shouldn’t men be the ones trying to figure out where they stand with us?

Here’s what normally happens:

  • Women stay in the hunting phase until the guy is forced to compromise and professes some sort of love, after children, dragging him down the isle (even though he is probably cheating), or he leaves abruptly.
  • Or women stay until they can’t take the games any longer.

Look back at a particular situation in your own life, that drove you crazy emotionally and wasted your time, don’t you wonder how a man with so many character flaws, had such a grip over you?

Well you entered the hunting phase and you were so fixated on building a love connection at any cost, you forgot to look at the the warning signs and crucially you forgot to protect the most important person…you

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How do you win his heart?

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 If he won’t change to get you, he won’t change to keep you. ~ Yvonne 

 

Read more

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Relationships: 5 Ways to Stop Dating Potential

Photo cred: @damnrottenkid How to STOP dating potential Not going to take too much of your time know you have a busy week ahead mama nonetheless this is a post worth checking out because if you’re an ambitious black female, maybe you’re aiming for a graduate degree or you’ve just been promoted at work; now your career is sorted you’re probably looking around wondering where all the good brothas … [Read More...]

Comments

  1. I am a guy… And no. Please don’t have a WOMAN tell you about MEN just as MEN shouldn’t tell you about women

    • Experience teaches you a lot about men, and I’m talking about men AND women in this post. Men have been telling us about women for far too long and we’re fed up! Instead of criticizing the fact I’m a woman, why not find something constructively wrong with the post. Men have commented on this post via social media on reposts, and said it’s 100% spot on and for that I’m grateful. Not to be rude, but have several seats elsewhere.

    • Sounds like a proper hater

      • Rachelle the worst thing is these guys don’t even offer women proper answers, and they have the gumption to be talking. Women want REAL answers not fluff, plus this post was given to my brother (who is happily married faithful, with kids) & sister to read before we even released it. I can be wrong but unlike some, I don’t just release stuff without any input from other people. That’s why it takes so long. Anyways…

  2. I’m an A-A college educated male from New York.. I live in the city and I have never been to this blog before, you are going to have to understand that no man feels completely comfortable with a woman talking about men, we have a man code which you are revealing and that’s not what we do. This article is correct but overall your blog focuses a lot on men only wanting sex which is true when we are young but when you grow up you kinda grow out of that BS. Women play games too and that’s all I’m saying.

    • Thanks for your feedback Aaron, and offering constructive criticism, I appreciate it esp since you are male and not many would step forward under these circumstances. I think you’re right, there is a point where men want companionship as well although that age is getting older and older :/

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