Relationships: Playing “Hard to Get” How Hard is too Hard?

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Every woman has been advised at one time or another that she can increase her appeal to a man by showing him less interest

confused-black-girl

Playing “hard to get”

Is a controversial subject, and many argue that it sends mixed messages to the opposite sex; however most people will agree that, people tend to want what they can’t have.

The real disagreement then, lies in the extent to which this tactic should be applied. A lot of of us girls get consumed with striking a balance between being “too easy” and “too hard to get.”

  • We analyze text messages
  • Scrutinize a guy’s response times
  • Stress over when to commit
  • Think about whether he likes us enough

The truth is there isn’t any strict rule about how “hard to get” we need to play

Or rather, it varies from woman to woman. Some girls need to apply it more than others. No offense, but there are girls that immediately cling onto any interested guy that meets their minimum requirements: these girls could benefit from showing moderation.

On the other hand, there are girls with an aggressive, single-mindedness, that might put off even the most persistent guys.

In my opinion, how hard-to-get we play also depends on the guy in each situation

For instance persistent men will put up with a higher level of rejection, while men with a lot of options, or lower degree of interest in a girl will grow bored of the chase quickly.

Try not to over-think things

If a guy is genuinely interested in you, it will be incredibly difficult to change his mind about you, therefore if you are too enthusiastic in replying to his texts or agreeing to a date, it won’t make a difference.

As long as you are going out with him, and not acting bored when you spend time together, you are showing more than enough interest to avoid turning off the average guy.

AND

As long as you aren’t asking him out all the time, or initiating contact with him regularly, you aren’t going to creep him out, or appear desperate enough to discourage him.

Now, here’s the tricky part, if a guy isn’t that interested in you

play hard to get

Smaller “mistakes” might cause him to change his mind about you

When we obsess over minor things like the content of our text messages or when to answer calls, we are usually dealing with a guy who is not that interested. In fact, his lukewarm approach to the relationship, is actually what drives this hyper-awareness in the first place.

The mistake we make is to believe that we are solely responsible for a guy’s decision to stop seeing us, erm, while this is true in one sense, as our behavior does influence his decision, the reality is, his lack of interest was making it next to impossible not to influence that decision.

In any case, if he can be turned off just because you say the wrong things in conversation, or use the wrong words in a text, then you deserve better

And if a guy doesn’t like you enough for you to be natural around him, then he doesn’t like you enough for a relationship to last. There is no way we can watch every word and action around him forever – just to please him.

Women aren’t the only ones who over analyze btw

Guys do it too! In worrying about how to approach women they find extremely attractive. What many men may not realize, is if they need to force their game plan into a perfect performance to attract a girl, then they may not hold onto her for very long, because at some point they will have to reveal who they really are.

The goal then for all of us, is to relax, and be ourselves with the opposite sex

Unfortunately when we start calculating our next “move” in a relationship, or watching our behavior too much, we’re probably fighting a losing battle. It’s never easy making ourselves vulnerable to a new relationship when rejection is a possibility, but sometimes rejection is a good thing, as it allows us to learn new things about ourselves, and make better decisions the next time around.

Don’t play hard to get, be hard to get.

Because it should be hard for a guy to win you over.

Is there such a thing as playing too hard to get?

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Comments

  1. Love love this! #thetruth

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