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Ever been confused over a guy’s real feelings for you?
Welcome to the club, it’s high time we determined 3 things
» The different ways men and women give love
» How to recognize when a man is falling in love with you
» How you can change a man’s opinion of you once it’s formed
Generally speaking, men give love in exactly the same way they want to be loved. So in order to find out whether a man truly loves us, we must first analyze how men give love to recognize the correct signs.
Men manifest love through
Action and Servitude
Action and servitude also happen to be the way men prefer to receive love from women. Most men aren’t going to be blown away by soppy, romantic gestures like poetry and flowers in the same way women are, and they won’t necessarily get as turned on by cute, thoughtful gifts that are given for the sake of it; rather men like acts of servitude namely obtaining things from their wives and girlfriends that will be useful in the immediate (now) like back rubs, food, sex and practical items like shirts and ties, gadgets and games.
Women manifest love through
Gestures, Feelings, Nurturing
Gestures, feelings, nurturing also happen to be the way women prefer to receive love from men. For instance if you buy a woman some flowers and perfume, or write her a poem she’ll be touched. The gift you get her needn’t be useful in the immediate (now), as long as she feels you’ve thought about her, especially on big days like birthdays and anniversaries, and you’re taking care of her and making provision for the (future), then she’ll be happy.
Men think in terms of what they want now. Women think in terms of what the want in the future.
Our parents are the first love relationships we have with the opposite sex
In most cases, his mother: fed him, clothed him, nurtured him, hence he grew up to understand love through action and servitude. He’s unlikely to believe words and cute gestures because his mother didn’t just say she loved him, she physically took care of him everyday.
In most cases, her father: told her she was beautiful, provided for her, made her feel secure hence she grew up to understand love through sweet gestures, how she felt emotionally, and the affirmations she heard from her Dad’s mouth.
Therefore she’s likely to question his love for her, if he insists on buying her practical gifts like cleaning equipment, or when she does not hear the actual words, “I love you.” regularly, even if he goes out of his way to show her using different gestures.
10 ways to identify a man is falling in love with you
1. When he talks about his future plans, they will include you and your needs: when a man is not serious, he will do everything in his power to deflect talking about the future, for example:
- Starting arguments
- Changing the subject
- Getting agitated
2. He will introduce you to his friends and family: and be eager to get to know your immediate circle. In doing so he is trying to figure out significant details about you and your background, and see whether the people around you fit into his big picture.
3. He will probably argue with you during this period: as he asks you personal questions, to hear your opinions on important subject matters like your faith, political views, your thoughts on having a family, where you want to live, to assess how life will be with you. Awww.
When a man is pursuing a casual fling, the last thing he wants to do is clash and risk losing having his wicked way with you, it’s far simpler for him to agree with everything you say, until afterwards when he can just leave.
4. He won’t be clinging onto a fantasy of you, or the idea of you: by getting to know you properly he will want to understand the core human being inside of you – and over time, embrace your insecurities, mistakes, life story, hopes, desires, fears, and accept you as you are.
5. You will be his preferred company: the woman he would rather spend time with over his friends, rather than the default girl he hangs out with when there is nobody else or when he’s lonely.
6. He will be on his best behavior: and make improvements to impress you. Love is self-sacrificial, and genuine adoration always motivates people to love and respect others as they would like others to love and respect them.
7. He will want to be exclusive: this is one of the clearest signs. In my experience, when a man is falling in love, he will automatically want you all to himself, taking you out of the proverbial “shop window” to make things official (with titles) and reduce the risk of another man stepping in on his territory. If he wants an open relationship in the beginning, he does not value the relationship enough to be loyal.
8. He will support your dreams: granted he’s not perfect and may not be able to give you his undivided support, or prop up your self esteem, but he won’t belittle your ambitions or talk you out of them. He wants to see you win, as he knows you’re ultimately a reflection of him, thus when you win so does he.
9. A man will give you as much value as you place upon yourself. To fall in love, he needs to see that you value you first. If he sees you don’t value you, he won’t value you either.
10. Men give love through acts of servitude click here to view them in full
Can you change a man’s opinion and get him to fall in love with you?
Now that’s a tricky question. It’s easier to change a woman’s opinion of a man than changing a man’s opinion of a woman. If a woman initially dismisses a guy because, say he’s unemployed, if she subsequently finds out he’s got a PHD, she may rethink her opinion of him and accept his request for a date. Whereas
When a man thinks a woman is a hoe, and he finds out she has a Master’s degree, he will still categorize her as a hoe.
If you find yourself in a position where you’ve done something you regret, and you’re being judged harshly for past behavior…
The best thing to do, is to stop trying to convince anyone to like you, and remember that we have all made mistakes. You’re a good person, try not to internalize their rejection, and work on proving that, by increasing your value as a woman. That way people will see that yes, you may have one area that isn’t perfect, but overall you’re someone worth knowing.
From there, you can try and build a platonic friendship with the guy in question. Realistically, you may not be able to change his first impression, but you can show him and the people around him, including friends and family that you have a lot more going for you than your past, and the incident you regret.
In sum, focus on being valuable, as when you bring the type of value he can’t find anywhere else, he will justify your past to himself and his family in order to keep you around.
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