A-Z Dating Manual: 6 Major Turns Offs For Men

Get ahead | Succeed | Career | Love

Ever wondered why a guy broke it off, did not return your calls and disappeared like a thief in the night?

upsetJust when you thought things were going so well…

I guess I should come clean and make a couple of confessions. Firstly: I’m guilty of nearly all of the misdemeanours below. But I can explain…

For a time I was depressed and miserable to be around; I was prone to pensive mood swings which I probably — or more accurately — definitely took out on my ex fiance  whom I still have fond memories of as he showed me real love when I was at my lowest ebb.

More on him and my depression later

Besides that, my worst behavior has manifested in times of self defense when faced with cutting remarks that I refused to let go, thinking, why should I? Or after a rough day at work and you know how that is – you have a short fuse with pretty much everyone not just your partner.

 “Women are considered fragile but I’ve never seen anything as easily wounded as a man’s ego.”

I didn’t appreciate how fragile the male ego is until recently nor the extent to which men detest being emasculated. Does this post sound like deja-vu? Well we have covered some of these points in previous posts:

Though we’ve never put them in one place so that you can get the heads up on exactly what to avoid when you go on your next date.

Before we go any further, one caution: make sure you respect the man you are dealing with. That way you’ll be less inclined to criticize him, emasculate him and scare him away. See the knock on effect?

6 major turn-offs for men

• Yelling at him and putting him down

Miscommunication happens, we’ve all seen how a minor disagreement can escalate into a huge blow up. You maybe adamant to get your opinion across but I guarantee you’re only setting yourself up for disaster by verbally abusing him especially early on, and doing so in public will repel him even more.

“A confident man simply won’t put up with a woman who openly disses him in front of others.”

Try and talk through your differences calmly and maturely as his pride will not entertain temper tantrums for long. Even if he does, the relationship is likely to sour and degenerate into a free for all, with mudslinging and insults from both sides. Meanwhile you will stretch the limits of your patience and lose faith in the opposite sex. Great! What a waste of energy.

As long as he’s being reasonable, show him that you can play fair by listening to what he has to say.

• Comparing him to other men

Bringing up past relationships to a new guy is a sign that you’re just not that into him. If you were you wouldn’t talk about anyone else to that extent. I’m guilty of this! Should he ask you about other men (in any capacity) spare his feelings.

He may say he’s fine with hearing every detail but in reality he only wants to know the surface stuff. Give him a summary then tell him you think he’s the best. Lol. Otherwise his bravado will kick into overdrive as he goes on the offensive about how great he is.

• Nagging him to do better

My ex fiance had a penchant for looking at other women and he did not discriminate. Wherever we went he would find a babe of any race to stare at. At first I blamed myself then realized his behavior was ingrained in him long before I came along.

My goodness he used to drive me crazy! I would nag and nag him until I turned blue, then one day I left as I couldn’t take it anymore. When we got back together I noticed his transformation immediately. Of course I didn’t trust he would change for good yet he did.

Months later, I asked him why he reformed, he said, he made a decision to stop for himself as he recognized his behavior lead him to be unfaithful. I guess men change when they are ready to change.

• Competing with him

 “He wants a companion not competition.”

• Being too predictable

Falling in love is an unpredictable process. Though you may have an inkling that a guy likes you, unless he tells you – you still don’t know how much he likes you and neither does he. The uncertainty allows your mind to wonder how he feels making the whole process unpredictable.

Discovering that you both feel the same way starts the process of falling in love. You cannot force someone to love you.

Attempting to control a man’s free will only ruins the process. Calling him too often in the beginning makes dating predictable as his mind has no chance to wonder whether you feel the same way. By your actions he knows you like him. And if he knows how you feel, before he has figured out his own emotions, he is unlikely to fall in love with you.

• Blowing hot and cold

You like him but you don’t really like him. Basically you like him when you’re bored, lonely or need an ego boost. Isn’t it cool getting all that attention? And he’s not even on a payroll.

Yes he serves a void but you’ll waste years of your life going back and forth like a yo-yo, as you make-do with what he gives you until you meet better. Is he worth it? Only you can decide.

Your thoughts?

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Comments

  1. Patricia P says:

    Thanks for this missy oh my God I love this blog.

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