Relationships: 6 Things Women Secretly Want From Men But Never Admit

Because we don’t want to seem desperate.

It’s the small things that are major to winning a woman’s heart.

These are the gestures we wish our boyfriends, fiancés and hubbies took the initiative to do more often though few women will ask you for this stuff because it’s embarrassing! Nonetheless I can guarantee that when you are consistent in your efforts to achieve the 6 points below, you will cause any woman to fall hard and the special lady in your life to fall harder.

1. We secretly want affection

For a woman affection is like water to a plant without it we slowly wither away. Your willingness to be tender gives us a sense of validation because we feel cared for, on the flip side we are likely to become insecure when you are continuously distant particularly during the early phase.

How else are we meant to gauge your feelings? Don’t just use affection as a precursor to the bedroom; the quickest way to build real intimacy and trust with a woman is to be tactile in your daily life.

We don’t want to be groped in dark corners

We want you to hold our hand

And wrap your arms around our waist and give us a kiss on the forehead, and you’ll see that even the tiniest of actions will be noted and reciprocated. Your affection can even go as far as giving you extra time when you really should be disqualified.

In many instances the lack of affection at big gatherings including college, church, weddings and funerals is unmistakable most times you can’t even tell who’s with who!

I know tradition says PDA is inappropriate but c’mon guys show us your softer side, as your partners are crying out for a little affection from you. We accept that men need respect long past the honeymoon stage in turn women need you to be more attentive.

2. We secretly want compliments

We hate begging for compliments! It’s disheartening having to ask “Do I look nice today?” or “Have you noticed my new hair?” As much as we make an effort for ourselves we secretly do it for you too so once in a while it would be amazing to hear, “Yeah your hair looks great.” or “I prefer your last hairstyle because of XYZ” especially when you know that we’ve just got our hair laid.

Stinginess won’t work

We don’t care how much you brag to your friends about how great we are when you never tell us

When you like something voice it at least once a week and if you don’t have a girlfriend practice on the women in your family. Perhaps it sounds tedious and ridiculous but don’t underestimate the power of a well timed affirmation, as your lady will love it when you notice her strengths due to the fact that her emotions and moods have a lot to do with how much you show her that you value her.

Your compliments don’t have to be based on physical attributes alone you could drop one when you appreciate a meal she’s cooked, when she’s actually on time for once, or when the text she sent you in the middle of the day got you a little too excited. Keep it fresh.

3. We secretly want you to Stop looking around

We realize that you can’t help it, still can you please stop gawping and flirting with other women in our presence. Not only is it insensitive – it’s rude! Any sound minded woman knows you’re not going to run off with that hottie with a body, but it doesn’t stop us from getting extremely annoyed and upset every time we catch you in action.

How would you like it if your partner looked and flirted with other guys in front of you? So what makes you think we’re fond of it? If you must…do it with your friends, or use your discretion.

4. We secretly want you to spend money on us

Any woman who says she doesn’t want a man to spend money on her is L.Y.I.N.G.

Contrary to popular belief we’re not all gold diggers! We can take care of ourselves yet that doesn’t stop us from wanting a man who can provide and be spontaneous by surprising us with a gift once in a while.

Stop telling us you care, and show us by putting your money where your mouth is and dig into your wallet to buy something nice that is exclusively for us. You don’t need a special occasion to spoil us; any reasonable woman will be equally grateful for flowers and chocolates as much as expensive lingerie.

5. We secretly want you to focus on the 80%

Because the perfect woman doesn’t exist. Why discount a good woman for superficial reasons when she makes the grade in every other respect? Wise men focus on the 80% knowing there will always be 20% missing. Yes that means your fantasy woman has flaws too. The beautiful packaging on the outside maybe enticing though her flaws will be exposed once you become familiar.

Real women don’t want to be objectified

We would like you to focus on our inner qualities (even when we dress provocatively and send out mixed messages) for the mere fact that ultimately we want you to like us for who we really are not what we look like, as there will be periods such as pregnancy when we don’t feel our best and we need to be certain that your attraction runs deeper.

Don’t commit to us knowing that the 20% we lack is something you cannot live without

Because this will inevitably lead you to cheat. Too many men marry a woman because she fits the cookie cutter image of a wife. His family and peers play a big part in informing his decisions…then he secretly lusts after other women using porn and illicit affairs.

Have the guts to date the woman who may not be as predictable though excites your mental AND physical tendencies, as it will be you who subsequently has to live with her not your friends and family.

6. We secretly want you to be honest and spend time with us

Be upfront when we don’t turn you on anymore (as much as it hurts our ego) rather we hear it from you than through the grapevine. When you don’t like something we’ve done don’t whine about us to your buddies…

Confront us, Confide in us, Be proud of us

We want you to make a bold statement to the world that you are in a relationship by changing your Facebook status to “In a Relationship” and introducing us to your friends. Take the time and make the effort to actually meet us in a public rather than your crib the whole time, as a great woman wants to be an open part of your life not a dirty little secret.

Can you think of any other things women secretly want from men?

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Relationships: 5 Ways to Stop Dating Potential

Photo cred: @damnrottenkid How to STOP dating potential Not going to take too much of your time know you have a busy week ahead mama nonetheless this is a post worth checking out because if you’re an ambitious black female, maybe you’re aiming for a graduate degree or you’ve just been promoted at work; now your career is sorted you’re probably looking around wondering where all the good brothas … [Read More...]

Comments

  1. I was expecting a man bashing type post but I like your approach which is surprisingly reasonable. Which man doesn’t know about women and cash? Sending mixed messages is the first way to enter the ‘not serious’ category, what do you expect men to do look the other way? I will keep this in mind when I interact with women in the future. Thanks Yvonne.

    • Ken thanks for your reading this and your comment! We know we send mixed messages, in spite of this, we do want a man to like us for who we are, even if that’s the opposite of what we portray. Is that too idealistic…probably but that’s what we want.

  2. Here’s one we want men to LISTEN because we love to talk.

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