You know the dating game is on life support when African-Americans think Africa is the answer, Africans think America is the answer, the Caribbean thinks England is the answer meanwhile England thinks Caucasians are the answer and
I honestly think the answer is in our approach.
Marriage cynics look away now
An urgent question you need to ask yourself is:
‘If I want to get married why am I giving this guy my most attractive years with nothing to show for it?’
Make sure you’re not spending your prime in dead-end relationships
The clock is ticking. Your mid-to-late-twenties are the years in which you are most likely to attract the highest quality man you can get. This counts for nothing if you’re not single when a great guy comes along or if you’re not putting yourself out there, because you are involved with someone who is kinda, sorta committed to you.
Well once you have wasted years of your life with a man who has not popped the question that might be a real possibility. Time and time again I hear of girlfriends dating men for 5 or 6 years in their 20’s without any sign of a proposal. It blows my mind.
Of course you may have been holding out in the hope of eventually getting a proposal but have you considered that he may string you along for another 2 or 3 years, only for him to decide that he wants someone else – or worse yet, someone younger?
Combine this with our reduced odds of finding someone without baggage once we get past 30 and things begin to fall into perspective; all of a sudden it seems crazy to think about dating someone for more than a year without any confidence that he will commit long-term.
There’s no way you would be renting this stunning open plan home with a pool out for long periods of time when it’s value is highest. During this period, you would only be interested in calls from buyers wanting to take it off the market. Right?
Therefore you would either leave it vacant for prospective candidates to view or at most, only agree to month-to-month leases so that it would be available to sell when a buyer came along with a good price.
You would also actively advertise the property to take advantage of its high value.
Put value on yourself
If your current relationship isn’t constantly growing towards something permanent then you need to start asking questions. And if you’re not getting satisfactory answers it is time to look elsewhere.
Remember your time is your responsibility – not his
Men will not make commitments that are not required of them. If he isn’t taking things to the next level when you think it’s appropriate break up with him. You can do so nicely and you should explain your reasoning clearly but you should still break up with him.
More easily said than done? Probably. But it is the best move nonetheless. If he really wants you he will try to get you back; but if he doesn’t you are better off being back on the market (like that house up there) than tied up in a rental contract during your most attractive years.
Find out if he’s really into you?
Men do not fall in love gradually
They do not find themselves suddenly falling for women in whom they weren’t initially interested. Male romantic love is something that either starts early and continues, or else doesn’t start at all because:
- His attraction to you is physical and your physical beauty can be demonstrated by seeing you in a handful of outfits or to some degree through photos on social media.
- His attraction to you is rooted in your personality and energy which can be demonstrated by experiencing you in a handful of moods. This takes longer than the physical attraction but is still possible within a fairly limited number of encounters.
From a sexual standpoint
This makes good sense as the man who spreads his genes successfully does not need months to judge the reproductive potential of his mate or her ability to nurture and raise children; he can see these things from physical cues as well has her energy, moods, and her instinct to take care of him.
The implications of this are enormous as it underlines that:
If a man isn’t falling for you from an early stage – say the first month – it isn’t going to happen
Don’t wait around for his feelings to “grow” the way yours sometimes do. They will not.
While this doesn’t necessarily mean that he should be ruled out as a potential boyfriend or husband it does mean that he will never be the woozy, infatuated lover you’ve seen in the movies.
And if this is something you can’t live without you would be better off breaking up with him now, than to become more emotionally or sexually invested before breaking up with him down the line.
Do you agree?
Is our first download on rebranding your profile online, in order to motivate men to notice you, date you, commit to you, and only you
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