Get ahead | Succeed | Career | Love
Well the first mistake you made was to come here to read this!
Let me guess, he oozes charm, he’s got more charisma in his pinky finger than the rest of us have in our whole body, he’s handsome, and he’s a hit with the ladies….*sigh* we’ve all been there.
I have lost out on some incredible men due to my own inferiority complex
Back in the day while living on a shoestring budget as a student, I would be overawed when confident, sometimes, older men with huge salaries and power would ask me out on a date.
Typically my first thought would be – hang on ‘Why me?’
Don’t get me wrong I didn’t feel ugly (though I used to criticize myself) and believe it or not, we had stuff in common. But deep down I suffered from the nagging feeling that I did not measure up.
Not growing up with a mother, really jaded my mentality, around the qualities I have to offer a partner as a woman, therefore I would simply compare their success markers versus my success markers, and surmise that my achievements were nowhere near a match for theirs.
And my neurotic and anxious behavior on dates would soon expose the fact I was in waaaay too deep. Until one day I decided to fix the way I saw myself.
What I learned the hard way is that no successful guy will seriously date a girl he thinks is beneath him. It’s just not going to happen
A man you believe is out of your league, will only find you attractive long term, when he is convinced you are on the same level or better than him, particularly when you offer strengths to counteract his weaknesses.
A random example
HIM: Handsome, Shy, Rich + HER: Ugly, Confident, Rich =
In this case, the woman holds strengths where the man has weaknesses and vice versa, yet they are both similar. Even when a woman is ugly, she can still bag a top notch man, as long as she has similarities to him (i.e background, education, career, values, wealth) and her strengths make up for his weaknesses.
What if you both have strengths in the same area?
A perfect scenario on paper is likely to cause a clash in real life. In any case, who wants to date their carbon copy? People normally choose their other half based on:
- The strengths their partner brings to make up for their own weaknesses
Physical chemistry, family, peer pressure and finances play a huge part as well
When you believe he’s out of your league
You will behave according to that mindset through your body language, speech, and mannerisms, whether you are aware of it or not. And the end result is, you will persuade him to believe that he is out of your league as well!
So the number one priority in attracting a man out of your league is to stop believing he is out of your league…even if his spectacular resume says otherwise.
Look beyond his money! He is a human being who has weaknesses, insecurities and fears, which are obscured by his bottomless bank account. Take walks with him and go on dates which don’t involve spending a dime. This will give you a chance to relate to him on an equal level. You will also gain his respect far quicker, as he will soon see that you are getting to know him for who he really is – not what he has.
Keep the mystery
From the moment you meet him, you can control his perception of you, by being mysterious. Don’t ruin the physical tension by over talking and telling him your entire life story, it won’t work – I’ve tried it! Be enigmatic and watch his curiosity go into overdrive as his imagination tries to fill in the blanks.
Don’t be nice
Chances are you’re not the only woman who believes he is out of their league so he will be used to girls fawning over him. Being too nice will slim your chances of a proper relationship, and grant you V.I.P access into his crowded fan club – no thanks!
Ultimately your potential to attract this type of guy long term
Is hinged on your ability to place value on yourself. Confidence is key. Men are attracted to self-assured women, no matter what “league” he may belong to. Have a can-do attitude because when you believe you can get him, your chances of succeeding will skyrocket through the roof.
‘The way you see yourself isn’t just important, the way you see yourself is everything.’
Have you dated a guy you felt was out of your league?
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