Editor’s Note: My Dating Adventure With an Ivy League Hunk

Dress: Philip Lim Shoes: Miu Miu.

I’m sure many of you are skeptical thinking…’I like Yvonne, but this guurl is crazy making all these wild claims about dating high flyers – yeah right.’ ‘Who does she think she’s fooling?’ To be honest, I might say the same thing, I mean I barely look 21 without make-up on (as seen above) and I’m quite carefree because I like the finer things, yet they don’t define me, nor do I have obvious ass-ets like a huge cleavage or big butt (take one look below for that).

IMG_9647

And though I make an effort with my appearance

I prefer to keep my style low key. I’m not the girl with perfect hair, make-up, and glaring sex appeal – even though some may beg to differ lol. Nowadays, I’m quite content not to be perfect. In essence I’m slowly embracing my flaws. Admittedly, that was far from the case growing up.

So the question remains…how the heck did I win over these eligible guys? And if I attracted them, how comes I couldn’t keep ANY of them!?

Before you start stroking your chin…

Let me explain…everything…please

Because those are valid questions, and as a reader of this blog you deserve a rational answer once and for all…You may have heard me explain, that for years, my mentor/sister, Vivien Rose has urged me to write a dating manual, due to my colorful dating history. Since my love life is on standby, I thought I would back up my claims before I meet a partner who is uncomfortable with my private life being public. You know how men are! 

Bear in mind, you will have to fill in some of the blanks yourself, because I write with discretion knowing there are people’s reputations at stake, plus there’s nothing like leaving a little to the imagination. Let me start off with one of the wackiest stories I have ever been involved in, which transported me across the world…all in the name of romance.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry when I tell you this as it’s typical of something only I would do.

I was at a new mall in London called Westfields.

My friend and I decided it would be a fabulous idea to do a bit of shopping, on the same day it opened, even though the entire city had the same idea! You could not move an inch for the crowds. Fed up with the slow pace, we sat down in the food lounge to grab something to eat.

Once we were comfortable, my friend noticed a handsome guy standing in the centre of the mall, with friends by a bar, staring right at our table, and she was convinced he was looking at me! Now I wasn’t buying it, as there were hundreds of people between him and I, and he was positioned quite a distance away from us.

She suggested we move tables on purpose, to see whether his gaze would shift to our new spot. When we did, sure enough, it did, only this time he had a cocky smile on his face, as if he knew exactly what we were up to. By this point, I was blushing.

After our meal, my friend hatched a plan to walk towards the bar, and we agreed that we would take a sharp left towards the exit sign, if he failed to approach us. And as we tentatively walked towards the bar, he confidently ran over like a knight in shining armour and introduced himself.

His name was Mark

I was immediately struck by his smooth complexion and teeth – my goodness, he had the most pronounced, straight, white teeth I have ever seen in my life! He was dressed in khakis, shirt and a sweater, with smart shoes. Even under several layers, I discerned a hunky physique. In fact I remember my friend whispering, “Is he a model?” – but at 5ft10 he was too short.

He was a doctor of behavioral science.

In those first few moments, I learned that he had attended an Ivy League college on the East Coast, he was president of his year, his grade average was 4.0, he was a member of a prestigious fraternity, and he had traveled the world working for NGOs. Originally from LA, he was based in Seattle for his job. He told me, this was his last night in London, and he didn’t waste any time inviting me for dinner.

I remember being so overwhelmed by his stats, I just stuttered “Yes!” As if I’d won the lottery.

I had to exchange numbers quickly, before I gave the game away that I was slightly intimidated, yet as eager as a beaver to find out more. We met for dinner, and moved onto a club, and I’ve gotta tell you ladies, the chemistry was insane, we talked for hours upon hours, he had a great sense of humor, in two words, he was ‘my type’.

The end of the night arrived, and I instinctively knew there was no way he was coming over to mine – just no way! Yet he was surprisingly understanding, so we promised to keep in touch as I was heading to New York.

All the while I was secretly hoping I could see him again.

black-couple-on-a-date

One week passed by and I was beside myself because I hadn’t heard a peep from him. After much deliberation, I sent him a casual email and at that precise moment, I checked my inbox only to find he’d sent an email at the exact same time.

That was it – for the next 3 months I could not get this guy out of my head

We emailed. We Skyped. We What’s Apped. We exchanged photos and #TBTs.

We did everything a normal couple would do apart from physically being together. It wasn’t obsessive contact either, it was sensible 30 minute calls every other day, and 1 or 2 emails per week, with no sexual overtones, and he would always initiate.

One day while I was staying in New York, he spontaneously invited me to spend Christmas and New Year with him in Seattle. He mentioned that his cousin was getting married and asked me to be his date! The bonus was he would pay for the trip.

By now, my sisters had heard every single detail about Mark, LOL

They had seen his pictures, his work, and knew how amazing I thought he was. But they lacked enthusiasm when I brought up the trip. Vivien was appalled that I would even consider deserting our family gathering at Christmas. “HE should fly to see you in New York.” she said, “Why are you making all the effort to see him?”….”But he’s paying!” I cried.

Her lacklustre response made me even more determined to prove her wrong.

After all…‘He could be the love of my life.’ I mused. Surely his gesture of paying proved he cared. “Well make sure you book a hotel…do not stay at his place…whatever you do!” Were the last words Vivien left me with…

Do you think I listened?

Noooooo, I flew over, with all the excitement of a cheshire cat, convinced this would be the trip of a lifetime. I had built Mark up to be the perfect guy and on the surface – he was.

The first hiccup came, when we met at the airport, he picked me up, twirled me around and said, “Where’s your butt gone?” Wow. In my effort to impress him, I had increased my exercise regime to 6 days a week, and he was not happy about the ‘drastic weight loss’ as he put it.

We arrived at his place, and after 3 nights of bliss where I stayed in the spare room, a pop up appeared on his computer while he was showing me photos of his global escapades.

After some probing, he cautiously revealed a whole library of porn consisting of thousands of movies, which were systematically titled and categorized by race (he had taken the time to do this) so that he could enjoy whatever he wanted at a moment’s notice! Woah. I was introduced to another side of Mark that night, and low and behold – he wanted me to get involved too, which made everything go down hill from there. 

Yes I know…

I shouldn’t have been so naive. Mark was just too good to be true. Needless to say, we barely spoke after that night, I ended up sight seeing by myself, and though we went to the wedding together, he found another chick to hit on while I was exchanging pleasantries with the the groom’s mother.

I did feel abandoned and hurt, especially as he refused to say goodbye

However in hindsight, I can now say I’ve been to Seattle – which was an experience! I’m lucky to have come away unscathed. No man is perfect, and I’m sure Mark will make a wonderful husband one day, even though his requests were a stretch too far for me.

What was our initial attraction based on?

Many people will argue that it was purely physical, but I beg to differ. I discovered recently that he has set up his own institution dealing with boys and academia.

Isn’t it funny that he is working with boys and here I’ am running a blog for girls.

Proves that whenever you develop a personality and interests beyond your physical appearance, you will gain someone who is your complement – even if it doesn’t work out.

As Vivien always says: ‘If you can attract one – you can attract another’.

Turquoise Blue is one of my fave colors for Spring/Summer 2014 – I’m loving it!

Would you fly anywhere for a man you were dating?

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*Names have been changed to protect any parties involved

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Relationships: 5 Ways to Stop Dating Potential

Photo cred: @damnrottenkid How to STOP dating potential Not going to take too much of your time know you have a busy week ahead mama nonetheless this is a post worth checking out because if you’re an ambitious black female, maybe you’re aiming for a graduate degree or you’ve just been promoted at work; now your career is sorted you’re probably looking around wondering where all the good brothas … [Read More...]

Comments

  1. vivienrose says:

    LOL! This brings back memories Yvonne. Reading it had my belly aching with laughter……what women do in the search for THE ONE. But seriously you have to write more of this dating stuff…am loving it. xxx

  2. Vivien! Awww thanks for your feedback. What was I thinking? Now you know the truth, looool. But I’m thankful for your guidance and putting up with my shenanigans. Your wisdom has truly kept me in check. Hugs. xoxo

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