Even on your ugliest days, you’re impossible to miss, with your cute smile, curvy breasts, high cheekbones and flawless skin. Male work colleagues trip over themselves vying for your attention, while women find it hard to restrain their jealousy. On most nights, you can be found chowing down a free meal at yet another fancy restaurant with your latest catch. When it comes to satisfying your sexual needs, you find it easy to get what you want.
However in the back of your mind, you can’t help brooding on the fact that although you’re smart and ambitious you’re still single! On the surface, you’re far from being upset as over the years you’ve suffered enough heartache to understand, that when it comes to men, having high expectations is foolish. But if you’re truthful, deep down, you can’t help but feel the gaping hole in your life, and you secretly yearn for the day you can fill that void with a man who will stick around for longer than 2 minutes. With all of your assets, it’s clear why men find you attractive, but to this day, it baffles you why all the men you fall for, continue to hit it and quit it.
Stop being needy!
During the dating phase, every man is hardwired to test the waters, to figure out whether you will accept his selfish behavior or not. You can try convincing him that you have eyes in the back of your head when it comes to cheating, or that you are way too ruthless to be taken for a ride. But your preaching amounts to nothing if you keep acting like a doormat, tolerating his immature behavior! The crux of the matter is, he wants to know whether your manic rants are sincere, or whether you are just another wannabe rhyming from a slick dating manual. Of course a man on the pursuit, will be on his best behavior (at least for the first few weeks) but just when you think you have hammered the message home and he is obediently following your rules, he will ruffle your feathers to see how you react.
Remember this is a litmus test ladies – are you going to pass with flying colours, or are you going to fail miserably?
Out of the blue, he will start getting on your nerves, by “forgetting” to call you on the day you arrange to meet his parents, or he will flirt outrageously with your hot friend right infront of your face and stare at other women as if they have 3 pairs of breasts! This has happened to me so much, I can almost time it to perfection. It’s beyond frustrating, but after years of sporadic outbursts and many public rows, I can safely say, the last thing you want to do, is disclose that every atom in your body is seething (as much as you want to yank out his eye-balls) there is nothing worse than screaming like a drunk hyena, when you are meant to be having fun – right, that is not cute! Without a leg to stand on, he will also use any diva behavior as ammunition against you to gain ground – if you give him good reason to. As Destiny’s Child would say, “Be Independent” stand-your-ground. When these conflicts blow up, don’t call him off the hook, don’t kiss him harder, don’t hold his hand tighter as that only exposes how clingy you are. Remember, this is a litmus test ladies – are you going to pass with flying colors, or are you going to fail miserably?
Ignore his silly tactics, smile sweetly and make a mental note in your memory so that when he eventually walks you home, or makes a gesture to call, you can calmly inform him, exactly where he went wrong. This gives you the perfect opportunity to let him know precisely what you will and won’t put up with, in a well thought out argument, instead of abruptly demanding it. You don’t have to spell it out by listing each occasion, date, time and what the woman looked like as if it’s a criminal investigation! But you should tell him firmly that while you are spending time together, you won’t have him breaking his neck to look at other women, if he wants to do that then he can keep it moving for example. No man wants to call a walkover his girlfriend, but he will gladly keep you on standby, until the right woman comes along.
Bored with dating the same type of men? You might like: Fed Up With Black Men? The Highs and Lows of Dating White Men
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GIVE US YOUR OPINION
Are women too needy in relationships or are men just too sneaky?
How do you let your man know he has crossed the line?