Relationships: 5 Reasons Why Men Prefer Women Who Aren’t Sluts

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Newsflash!

Men are hypocritical. They prefer women to have few sexual partners, while they continue sleeping around themselves. Typical. This isn’t fair but life isn’t fair. The reality is women will always be judged more harshly in comparison to men after casual sex – even when it’s the best casual sex he’s ever had.

No man will reveal this, but the way in which you behave in the dating phase is extremely important to him. It really doesn’t matter what you say, his judgment of you boils down to what you do. So if you don’t respect yourself, who will?

Plenty of women are sexually liberated these days, indeed they are entitled to indulge in as much sex as they want. But what happens when you meet a good man (I’m talking one who ticks ALL of your boxes) and you want him to treat you differently from his past sexual conquests?

One way to stop him in his tracks, is to challenge him to get to know you properly by making him wait for sex. Just try it: make him wait for sex. The downside is, you’ll be devoid of sexual pleasure, the upside is, you will never have to deal with losers again.

Have you seen what guys will do for sex?

Wow. Even the most upstanding man will turn into a horny sex pest and resort to the filthiest behavior at the promise of getting inside you.

According to my male pals, there’s nothing more exciting, than mentally going through the motions with a girl he’s never experienced. To him, new pu**y feels awesome. Not good – awesome!

Seeing the pressure men apply, confirms our vaginas have HUGE bargaining power. Therefore surrendering and giving yourself on a plate at the first sign of a compliment, grants him the power to dismiss you as quickly as he pursued you.

Of course he’ll be weary of combining his future with yours, when he’s secured sex without a hint of effort. To my mind, dating is a transaction and we can easily use this window of opportunity to negotiate the terms of the relationship before sex complicates matters, by disclosing our desires upfront to prevent confusion, failed expectations and heartbreak down the line. In this way, if HE can’t meet YOUR needs you can dismiss him.

We are constantly bombarded with messages on how to be “sexier”, “dirtier”, “raunchier”, but it’s high time we placed our emotional requirements first. Celibacy may not appeal to you, but hearing an alternative will at least allow you to make a more balanced decision next time you’re caught up in a steamy  romp clinch.

Hey, no one said waiting for sex is easy, but when looking at the broad spectrum of life, nothing worthwhile ever is.

Here are 5 points to help you wrap your head around this

1. Get to know a man’s intentions thoroughly before having sex!

To men intimacy means one thing, to women intimacy means everything. When a woman invests her time in a man (on some level) she will become emotionally attached. A man in the same scenario can still have sex and move on whereas the woman will be devastated. It may seem difficult to wait but there is no sex worth your emotional sanity.

2. When a man likes you ENOUGH he will wait for sex!

The biggest misconception is that a man will only stick around if you open your legs. This is simply not true. He just has to be 100% certain that you are, the real deal and then he will definitely wait for as long as you ask him to.

BEWARE: If he claims he is waiting, yet sleeps around, he is not worth it. If he claims he is waiting, yet disappears and reappears (like David Blaine) he is not worth it either.

                  

                  Who would YOU respect?

3. The way you carry yourself is crucial!

Your body language is a statement to him:

  • Our body language accounts for 55% of what we communicate
  • Our tone of voice accounts for 38%
  • Our words account for ONLY 7%.

This substantiates that what we do is far more important than what we say. So, as much as it’s great to flirt, it is counterproductive to be overly suggestive as he will automatically get the wrong idea.

4. Dress properly and he will treat you like a lady!

There is nothing wrong with being sexy but when it comes to taking you seriously, a man likes mystery. If your ass and breasts are hanging out he’ll only be thinking of 1 thing. He’s dating you because he thinks you’re damn fine; so can you blame him?

5. Your behavior tells him how much you respect yourself!

Just like a child, a man will always try to push the boundaries to see how far he can go. The way you act tells him how highly you value yourself and your body. If you let your standards slip and get intimate quickly, in most cases, it will inadvertently cause him to show you less respect, this is because in his eyes you have already lost respect for yourself.

Does waiting for sex matter to you?

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Relationships: 5 Ways to Stop Dating Potential

Photo cred: @damnrottenkid How to STOP dating potential Not going to take too much of your time know you have a busy week ahead mama nonetheless this is a post worth checking out because if you’re an ambitious black female, maybe you’re aiming for a graduate degree or you’ve just been promoted at work; now your career is sorted you’re probably looking around wondering where all the good brothas … [Read More...]

Comments

  1. Waiting for sex does matter to me. I’m 19 turning 20 in October. I’ve dated quite a few guys but have never been intimate with any. But as u mentioned I got deeply attached and got hurt in the process.. How much so if i had sex with either one? I’d probably have been seriously crushed and it’s not worth it. Because I know how easily I hurt and get attached, I had decided to wait untill marriage. But my mom does not making it any easier for me as she always mocks me for being a virgin saying i need to be sexed in order to understand life and mocks my choice as an other reason for my immaturity. And then there is my own sexual desires.. Aroused by the media,peers etc.. Mom says these days marriage is rare.. What if i never get married? *but know I will..God is good* Then untill when should I wait? I’ve had a crush on a certain guy in highschool for 3 years (till i graduated) now our paths have crossed again at college.. And I’ve often day dreamed of being his wife, the mother of his baby and above all losing my virginity to him. I mean he still gives me butterflies even thou i have seen him a million times before.. Isn’t that love? We might not marry I know but I only wanna give it to him… Then I’ll follow the above mentioned tips. We are not even dating but I know he feels the same about me as he has admitted before. Sad part is he has always ran to the popular girls when he was single and i see us going in circles.. I’ve completely changed the topic to what I want but please assist me if possible.

    • Dont listen!!! says:

      Wait till marriage good guys want a virgin wife its just human nature, also dont do what this blog says either lure men in like you always wait for sex it’s being dishonest! and we know when you are being dishonest what if you done what this blog says to me then i find out youve had one night stands? id feel less attractive then those men? less wanted? tbh this blog is for sluts trying to cover up the fact they are sluts ‘sexually liberated’ almost as bad as saying your a party girl sluts dont deserve happiness with a partner for more reasons than i can be bothered to type.

      • Don’t listen!!! Thank goodness for the few who have started this conversation in the blogoshpere. I have found, nothing causes more contention than this topic, so whether you decide to wait for sex or not, the evidence says: teen pregnancy levels, STD contractions, single women, single mothers, divorce rates, heartbreak, bitterness, is at an all time high. Hopefully the body of work on this blog, and my other comments on this thread speak for themselves.

    • Mandy! Thanks for your honesty 🙂
      I can completely relate to your story.. and think we’d be the same age now? (21) And am on the same page with the mom mocking thing. Haha my mum always makes fun of me for that.. usually it’s because she didn’t wait till marriage and I’ve waited this long.. people are going to be jealous of that! Cause guys love virgins.. they always have. Slutty girls, anyone can get them which is no fun. They’ll eventually, and usually pretty fastly get bored with them
      Stay true to you 🙂 Because God is faithful and if you know He says you’ll get married then you will! So good on you for staying true to you and your faith and know in the end it will be worth the wait xx 🙂

  2. We live in a world where men who sleep around are respected even if it means cheating on their partners.. But as you said women can’t simply do that and even thought its unfair I really do think that we should respect ourselves and make them wait, otherwise if you get intimate with him right away how will he know you won’t do the same with some other guy?
    Of course that won’t always work and I learned that when I made the first guy I had sex with wait and he actually did, but then I found out he had a girlfriend.. Maybe it was my fault cause we never discussed our relationship but I never thought I needed too.. After all him waiting showed that he liked me.. But I guess that’s what I wanted to believe.
    I don’t regret it but that was shortly before I met my boyfriend and both of us wish I had waited so he would be my first, but as he says the important is that he’ll be my last!

    • That’s pretty cool if he says he will be your last. The truth is that wait until you get married, you will be respected and trust me, that guy will value you a lot. I have been with the lady I love for 5 years but we have never had sex and yeah, am a guy but sometimes I feel I have delayed but then I have come to realize that she’s worth the wait, so please the best thing to do is to abstain from sex until marriage cuz trust me, you would have made it up to the guy you love. Just believe in yourself and dont be pressured as regards that.

      Wish you the best.

  3. Not minding my own business… But if you like this guy and you know he feels something about you too, you should stop thinking of sex already but try to talk to him about the way you feel, see if it’s possible for you to have a relantionship and worry about sex after..
    Talk to him, otherwise you’ll regret not doing anything later.

  4. Heila thanks for subscribing to the blog & for your wonderful insight. Your advice is spot on & will help many to make good choices in the future. Mandy, unfortunately mocking comes with the territory of “waiting for sex”. Sorry to hear it’s coming from your own mother. There is considerable pressure on women to have sex even when they’re not 100% comfortable & it breaks my heart. Let me tell you a few years ago I had friends who were far more sexually experienced than I was. They always acted as if they were cooler & more mature, but my sister always encouraged me not to sleep around. Now the same girls are finding it difficult to settle down because they have gained a terrible rep for being loose in their social circle. Harsh but true. So when we sleep around we have to factor in the long term consequences.

    Desiring sex is healthy & you sound keen on this guy. After reading your comment, I would place your feelings in the infatuation category (possessed by an extravagant passion/attraction) the reason being, we must know someone, flaws & all, before calling it love. Love takes time; love is a commitment. So try not to let your feelings run away with you. Take a step back & analyze whether he really is worthy of losing your virginity to, or being the father of your children by slowly getting to know him. Find out if you can conduct a meaningful conversation & whether you are comfortable being silent in his presence. Does he have the same vision for the future as you? Does he care about your interests/ambitions? Is he looking for love himself? Does he have the same values as you? There are so many questions to answer before you can truly love him. By the sounds of it, his words are saying one thing & his actions are doing the opposite. Always judge a person by their actions.

    I have lost out on so many eligible guys because of my stance. But did I really lose out? These men moved on and few gave a hoot about me as a person. I have been hurt by men, but I’m relieved I wasn’t promiscuous as I don’t carry much emotional baggage nowadays, which means I can pursue my passions without distraction & heartache – both reasons why some women find it hard to move forward. Healing takes a lot of energy & time. We must heal before we can progress in life. I’m single yet I have absolute faith I’ll get married but instead of worrying about who it is, I’m working on becoming the person I want in a man as like attracts like.

    • You’re welcome once again! You are doing an amazing work, its a pleasure tp be part of it and hopefully learn something from your work…
      It was good to leave my two cents on the subject since I’m discussing it with my boyfriend and it would be too great if it was useful for anyone.
      Totally agree with everything you said!

    • Thank you so much, totally agree with all you have said. You are doing an amazing job, keep it up.

    • Joe Magic says:

      Having sex with a man that loves you is fine. Making him wait is wrong if he is paying the bills and he is showing you that he is willing to work hard come home to you then sleep with him. Sex is great with someone you know that is going all out for you. Don’t be foolish and withhold sex cause you’re mad or emotional. Taking care of your man is your job not just a feeling. Just like he have to pay the bills love and sex is not a choice if you’re in a serious relationship or marriage. Stop using sex as a way to get things or manipulate men into getting what you want. Love be free and be upfront with us from the start we love honesty period!!!!

  5. “One way to stop him in his tracks, is to challenge him to get to know you properly by making him wait for sex.”
    This is bad advice if the dude already knows you’ve been “sexual liberated” with other guys. If he knows you’ve been giving it away freely to his friends, but want him to wait he’s gonna drop you like a bad habit every time. What’s done in the dark always finds its way to the light

  6. Well it is very obvious that many of us men want a good woman to settle down with, especially if she can accept us for who we are.

  7. jimmy Quick says:

    I think the real argument is that men don’t need to settle down until they hit 50 and then they can get a chick who is 30. Simple as that.
    Women cannot sex it up like men if they want to be respected. If you are a slut, you are a slut and if your man does not call you that both know he and you already know the deal.
    If you have to lie about your sexual past, and most of you do, to get a relationship going, than the deal is already done.
    Why should a man marry a chick who has been around the block a few times? Why?
    Look, you got your whores and you got your wife material. When you choose your wife the whores get left behind. That’s just the way it is. Just the way it has been. Only difference is today more women are willing to be the slut. That’s good for men. But don’t come nagging me about marriage. Just spread em and be on your way.
    Don’t call us, we’ll call you.
    This may be cruel but it is as real as it gets. Some women have three kids with all different fathers- they’re just so dumb. But it is all too common. maybe women were not ready for liberation.

    • As a 21 year old virgin girl waiting for the right guy, I would never, ever settle down with a slutty man, even if he wants to settle down with me. Sorry, but if a guy wanted me because I’m wife material, he better make damn sure he’s husband material. If a guy has been around the block a few times and has kids with other women, I’m walking. Simple as that. These types of men are not worthy of a good woman. These types of men are rocks & they can keep the sluts. The man I settle down with is going to be a diamond.

  8. I like how straightforward you are with your points Jimmy. Thanks. Though men may not have a ticking biological clock, they are just as likely to carry baggage, and sometimes become perverted as a result of years of promiscuity, or multiple partners. In my opinion, and in this day and age, it is humanly impossible to conduct that type of lifestyle for years on end, without some sort of side effect, whether emotional, psychological or physical. Therefore when he decides to settle down and choose a much younger, and possibly more innocent woman, she’s going to have to deal with all that paranoia and baggage. Great! Perhaps why marriages between virgins are twice as likely to last.

  9. Love the article. At that moment, whether he’s married or living with a woman, black males are whore lovers. They will disrespect and put down whores in order to distance themselves and cover up their own sexual activity with whores. For whatever reason, black males constantly accuse everybody in the world of being fascinated with his penis when in fact, it’s the black males own fascination with his own organ.

    The REAL deal is that everybody’s actually laughing at them. There’s proof that a large % of black males have produced children that they don’t take care of. That means they are deadbeats. Right before our eyes black males. It’s no secret (and hasn’t been for years) that while some black females are whores in some form, it’s black males who glamorize and patronize this type of behavior by participating in it.

  10. Hey Ginny what can I say…Thanks for your comment!

  11. You see a lot of older guys chasing after young women and wanting to settle down with them. Well, it doesn’t take long for the girl to leave them and after the initial dreamy romance is over and reality kicks in. They end up as lonely old men. Could it be because of their previous promiscuous lifestyle that stopped them from having a lasting relationship? By the way getting old or older means having health issues and having to contend with extra adipose tissue. what young chick wants to deal with that? Maybe as a young dude settle down with a good woman and satisfy her needs so when you are old you won’t need a young partner.

  12. @Mandy….OMG! I can’t believe I’m just reading your comment. Your mom is wrong, very wrong for mocking you. PLEASE understand that YOUR virginity is a prized possession. A man SHOULD feel privliged that you allowed him entrance into your private space. It should feel just as special to him as it is to you.

    My mom was a whore my entire childhood. She thought being a virgin was corny and square. If I’d known then what I know now, I would have remained a virgin much longer than I did.

    Do yourself a big favor: WAIT until the right time feels good to you. I wish you the best.

  13. the reality is men don’t want good girls they want sluts, im a good looking girl and very sexy, I dress sexy but am not a slut, my behavior speaks for itself. if I get approached by a man in a club and he asks me to go home with a bottle of wine I tell him where he can stick that wine. If I go on dates I tell the guys that I wont sleep with them before three months if they have a problem with this then move on.

    yes I look different from what I really am, I have morals and values and integrity, I will not put up with what has happened in society, woman are too easy therefore they have driven down the market, no one values themselves anymore, men don’t want to get married as woman have driven down the need for it by sleeping with them so fast.

    men can have what they want for free, why date a woman when you can get one for free, I don’t believe these men marry well they act and sleep with hoes’s they marry them.

    Sorry but good woman don’t want men like this, decent men attract decent woman end off. men who are not decent attract and have hoe’s for their wives.

  14. truthtella says:

    Actually, in this day and age, men do prefer sluts. End of story.

  15. I’d bet you anything most of the girls on here saying they aren’t sluts. Really are sluts.

    • Well gee thanks Jean. Hey I’m not totally innocent. Though even my worst enemies would hesitate in calling me a slut simply because there’s no evidence. Got nothing to hide here. Then again you’re going to think what you like and that’s the downside of sharing my private life on the internet.

    • So Very True.

  16. Lady, your exactly what a guy looks for, attractive but doesnt give it up right away. Most men like their girl to be special and we hear so much stuff from other guys about things theyve done with slutty girls and we all laugh about it so if a girl has done something with another man that would make her the joke of the locker room then we feel disgusted to call that woman ours simple
    As that.

  17. This article is as bad as the rest I’ve read. These articles always talk like every guy is the freaking same! I’ve only had one serious relationship my whole life, we were together for about a year and a half. And guess what? She screwed my brains out the first night we went out! It wasn’t because I was horny or she was a slut, it was because we had a genuine connection that I haven’t been able to find since her. And it’s hard to look when every girl out there thinks I’m only after one thing because of stupid articles like this! Do you people ever stop and think that some guys just talk to a lot of different women because they’re lonely and looking for that special connection again!

    • If you read the full scope of this blog, you would see that your comment is rash and untrue. However you’re welcome to your opinion. All those exclamation marks, this seems quite personal to you… do I know you? I think I do… look John, this is primarily a women’s blog if you don’t like the content please go elsewhere. You’re a good guy. Don’t use your personal grudge towards me to justify your thoughts.

    • You didn’t marry her, so you’re kind of proving blackcitygirl’s point. So what if you dated for 1.5 years? That is not a long time.

  18. Reality Check says:

    Who the hell would want a woman that is a Slut?

  19. Saintluger says:

    … good article, women should wise up and pay attention instead of running around like whores with their whore-mones out all the time…

  20. Black people are so behind and sexist.

  21. SoVeryTrue says:

    It is very sad nowadays that most women love Sleeping around with all different kinds of men.

  22. Katelyn says:

    I seriously do not understand how a woman would put up with a man who believes in this kind of double standard!
    If he thinks it is totally fine for him to sleep around, but doesn’t respect you because you do too, that’s because he doesn’t respect you or see you as equal. If you were his equal he would hold you to the same standards that he holds himself to.
    Why would you want to be with someone like that at all? Let alone deny yourself pleasure in order to be with someone like that.
    If you want to wait till marriage go ahead, that’s great, but don’t do it to indulge some loser’s hypocrisy. You deserve better than that.

  23. A lock that can be opened by any key is a shitty lock, and a key that can open any lock is a master key. The key is the man’s tool. You already know what the lock is.

    no man wants to knowingly marry a woman with a promiscuous past. The more partners she has had, the more likely she is to lose sexual interest in any man that she is in a relationship with. Humans are creatures of habit and She is programmed to want sex from many different men. This will spell emotional and financial disaster plus humiliation for the man when she starts cheating and wants a divorce.

    A promiscuous woman is of no value to any man other than a night of sex.

    If you choose to be promiscuous, be honest about who you are….. but do not expect to be taken seriously.

    If by your 5th man, none of these guys you slept with saw it fit to marry you, you must have problems and you are of low value. You value decreases with each partner

    what do men truly want??????

    A beautiful woman that is feminine in behavior, happy, submissive, never lies, low sexual mileage (less than 5), gives him his space to do his man shit without trying to control him, and is a curious freak thats willing to try anything with him. (Be genuine with these….. if you fake it he will see through it eventually)

    If you embody these traits, you can make even the worst player commit his life to you. Keep in mind that some men have mental issues and may try to mistreat you. Your job is to ensure that he treats you well because you deserve it.

    If all you care about is being with a good looking or rich man, you will end up a slut, because these men will screw you and dump you. Look for a good man that you look better than that is financially stable.

  24. Regretful_Waiter says:

    I agree with what jimmy and Derrick and ladies you should really listen to them if your a virgin wait for the love of god wait. Yes if you don’t theres a chance you’ll find a good guy but if your a virgin your chances are way better no man wants to waste his best efforts on used goods and by that I mean a girl that’s been way around the block have her virginity to the first guy who acted like he cared then just kept going from there one bad choice after another it just makes you look stupid and not work the effort I mean if you can’t tell the difference what’s the point in showing you the real thing? I’m married lost my virginity to my wife but she pretty much there hers away to a guy that made it seem like he cared after 4 days of knowing him at first it didn’t really bother me but after awhile I started looking at her differently after she told me more details. She was up front about her past from the start which is probably why it didn’t bother me at first but maybe that was a mistake on her part she shared to much for my liking she’s only slept with him and me but still how it happened makes me uneasy about her. Anyway just be Careful with it you can only give it to one person and it means more to some then it does others she’s just some trophy on his sexual wall and it wound have been the best gift anyone could have ever given me.

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