We complain about the way men treat us in relationships, but what about the way we treat them? A loving relationship takes serious effort on both parts. We may not be able to control the way a man behaves, but we can take full responsibility for the way we act towards him.
In a world where both genders are increasingly accepted as equal by the law, let’s keep in mind that men and women are fundamentally different. For instance, our higher Oestrogen levels make us prone to being emotional. Our emotional compass causes us to seek security above anything else when we are pursuing a long-term relationship. We also devote large doses of energy (and air time) to our love lives like no man can! We are born to nurture and given the chance, we make wonderful homemakers.
Yes, it’s essential for a professional woman to exercise her power, authority and independence in a male dominated work place or in her social circle, even so, taking this attitude home will cause major conflict. It will not only destroy any attempts to build a harmonious relationship, it will create unnecessary friction and an underlying power struggle within your union.
In order for any romance to flourish, the majority of attributes a woman brings to the relationship should be the complete opposite to those of a man. No heterosexual man wants to date a man! Men desire to be with ladies. To this end, human nature has never changed and women have the power to act with femininity.
First, find a man you can totally respect, one who has proven himself to be worthy of your adoration (preferably someone who has put a ring on it) a man who makes you feel comfortable, and somebody who treats you properly over a significant amount of time – granted this may take years, but before applying this formula to your life, you must thoroughly assess a man’s behavior to discern whether he deserves this effort. Have a look through the ‘Top 8 Qualities a Man Must Have to Make Woman a Happy’ Part 1 and Part 2 to see if your partner makes the grade.
We all have demanding schedules these days but finding the energy to apply these 7 ingredients will reap huge rewards in boosting the love and harmony in your relationship
If your man makes reasonable suggestions or requests within your union, be flexible and follow his lead. Encourage and advise him when you think he needs guidance. Fully embracing your role as a lady in a relationship is far from being a walkover; it is empowering to know you are partly responsible for upholding a peaceful union in submitting to your man’s authority – sometimes right?
Don’t forget your man is human, so when he assumes leadership he is bound to make mistakes at some stage. When he inevitably stumbles don’t rub his nose in it, preserve his ego and kindly suggest other options. If there is ONE ingredient you take away from this list, let it be this one, as many successful, solid marriages build their bond around this principle.
2. Be Gentle
Counteract your man’s natural tendency to be aggressive and forthright, with a tenderness in your actions and words. Speak to him in a calm tone. Show your softer side (through affection) and coax protective gestures from him by being good-natured and genuinely sweet in his presence and he will find you irresistible.
3. Be Caring
Show him you possess heartfelt concern for his well being. Simply demonstrating that you have his back when he is bogged down by stress, will do wonders in bringing you closer. Think of ways to make him feel special everyday (as the old saying goes, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach).
4. Be Humble
A lady should allow others to sing her praises instead of boasting of her own achievements, as they will always speak for themselves. Of course navigating a successful career is meaningful and integral to our self worth, but it has little to do with preserving a harmonious relationship.
Let’s face it, huge ambition often triggers huge competition, although confidence is an aphrodisiac, no real man wants to compete with his girlfriend or wife. Men are innately competitive, therefore we should assist in arousing and directing this instinct in the right way.
Note: One way to discern a man’s intentions is to see whether he takes the time to appreciate and value all the minor and major talents that make you special, if he doesn’t then throw him in the garbage!
5. Be Mysterious
Keep some of your private matters, just that, private! A man doesn’t need to know every single detail about your life – we have girlfriends for that. This unchartered territory will keep him guessing, curious and more importantly interested as he won’t have you completely figured out.
6. Be Compassionate
Listening and showing that you understand his problems (even if you don’t have all the answers) goes a long way. Give him space to be alone to hang out with his friends. Meanwhile, pursue your own hobbies, so you have something to share, when you eventually see him. Just because you’re in a great relationship doesn’t mean you need to be stuck together like glue! You are an individual with your own persona; which is exactly why he was attracted to you in the first place.
7. Be Sexy
Remember men are visual. The power of sex appeal is universal. From the boardroom to the bedroom, men are captivated when a lady makes an effort. Don’t take your youth and beauty for granted as it doesn’t last forever. Keep yourself groomed and in shape. Go the extra mile, wear something special and feminine. Do your hair and make-up, and you will find this small effort reignites his physical attraction to you.
Do you apply these ingredients in your relationship?