Many of us mingle with the wrong types of people and stay in toxic friendships for years, just for the sake of familiarity. In the beginning, these “friends” enter with open arms and kindness, when in fact they are nothing more than wolves in sheep’s clothing. If we allow them to stick around, their backstabbing bitchiness will grow like a cancer and hamper our progress for good.
‘Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are.’
Second to family, our friends possess the biggest influence on us. Their impact plays a crucial role in determining where we find ourselves emotionally today. Even when we consider a toxic friend to be an acquaintance, their mere presence will gradually damage our potential. Moreover, should they have access into our inner circle, and their power of persuasion plus criticism can lead us in a direction which will not only destroy our dreams but our self confidence and esteem as well.
Therefore the only wise solution is to simply cut them off! Don’t hesitate to do it
We cannot succeed nor gain fulfillment in anything we do, unless we are surrounded by positive people, or those who have a good influence on us. With this in mind it is extremely important that we choose our friends wisely.
Friends fall into 4 categories, those that ADD SUBTRACT MULTIPLY DIVIDE. Recognize the type of friends you have by assessing whether they possess over 50% of the qualitites in any category below:
A friend that ADDS: They accept you as you are They bring joy into your life They celebrate your presence in their lives by giving in different ways They encourage and support you Even if you don’t see them often you can both continue where you left off They can easily apologize after a disagreement They make an effort to see you and enquire about your wellbeing They listen and advise you They have your best interests in mind They will support you in your time of need They are happy for you when you succeed
A friend that SUBTRACTS: They are high maintenance They become jealous when you succeed in any way They want you around when it suits them They use you for their own needs They feel entitled to make most of the decisions in the friendship They compare themselves to you They are competitive They cannot accept you changing They criticize your choices They secretly laugh when you are down They only care about you on a superficial level They are backstabbers They will try to steal your friends and your man They are self absorbed They can never give you praise where it’s due
A friend that MULTIPLIES: They add a distinct value to your persona They make an invaluable contribution to your life in different ways They make a vested interest in your success Their advice is indispensable They support and champion you They give you insight into their mistakes They act as an example They hold your hand through thick and thin
A friend that DIVIDES: They are emotionally draining They monopolize your time They leave you frustrated You can only handle them in small doses They have the ability to make you feel small They ridicule and criticize under the guise of constructive criticism They openly disrespect you They don’t respect your opinion You are in their life to make them look good They bring drama and emotional baggage into your life Your conversations always revolve around them They are unreliable and flaky
Now move ahead with winners in your life and leave the losers behind
One quality all happy people have in common is their choice to eliminate people that SUBTRACT and DIVIDE from their lives. My rule of thumb is, if you are giving more than you are receiving on a consistent basis, then you are not in a genuine friendship. The 1st step is to ignore their pitiful excuses and half hearted apologies. Find and maintain a new set of friendships with those who are driven, creative and inspiring. Don’t fret because you are certain to gradually attract like-minded people who will both stimulate your mind, support your ambitions and accept you just as you are. Life is all about growing in every dimension of who you are and establishing the greatness within you.
How have you dealt with negative experiences re: friends?