Relationships: Why Calling a Man is Dating Suicide

Get ahead | Succeed |Career | Love

You arrive early to meet your friend in a bar and upon entering, you clap eyes with the sexiest man you’ve ever seen!

His mere presence sends tingles down your spine. In an instant, your body develops a mind of it’s own as you swiftly usher yourself as close as humanly possible, taking pains not to look too eager. To your surprise, a few moments later, you double back to find him pressed up against your hips struggling to reach the bar. Overcome with excitement, your pupils dilate as you casually swoon over him.

He finally introduces himself and his words sound like the sweetest lullabies. The chemistry is electric – boy is he a turn on! After being summoned by your friend, you reluctantly pull away and before you even have time to reflect, he smoothly asks for your number. Then, just as you’re leaving, he hands you his card and your mind starts racing, musing: “Hey this guy has real potential” – but how can you get him to feel the same way about you?

Stop calling him!

Ask any man, when a woman starts calling him excessively, he will tell you himself: it’s not calling – it’s stalking! It’s baffling just how many women insist on stalking calling a man countless times a day, without so much as a response. They say: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”, but how can he ever pine for you, when you’re the first name that pops up on his caller display every morning, and the last one at night.

Sometimes we’ll barely know a man’s last name before we start abusing him with phone calls, but we don’t stop there, after failing to get through, we duly send a text to say something random in the hope of getting a reply, just so we can lead the conversation to what we really want to hear, namely, “where he is” or “if he’s thinking about you.” Well, after receiving a record number of phone calls and texts, he really has no choice but to think about you. Although chances are he’ll be thinking what a nutjob you are, and resenting the fact he ever laid eyes on you in the first place, so this is not the ideal way to get inside his head.

This reminds me of an ex-girlfriend, who embarked on a whirlwind romance with a male work colleague of mine a few years ago. Within weeks, the occasional friendly call escalated into a pathological calling addiction such was her dedication to hounding him every minute of the blessed day. When I eventually bumped into him, he point blank cursed her out so badly I had to physically restrain him. In sum, the poor man did not get any peace. And to this day he bitterly regrets hooking up with her. Of course this case is extreme, but it illustrates how scary some women can be.

Apart from getting inside your draws, when it comes to relationships, men love nothing more than the chase.

Typically when we exchange digits, a man will flash call our number, in order for us to save his on our phone, but this doesn’t mean we should be using his details to hunt him down like a terrorist! A man asks for our number because he wants to pursue us, therefore it makes no sense for us to defy nature, by turning the tables to shamelessly grab his role. Calling a man first makes him impotent, it is as good as cutting off his manhood. Apart from getting inside your draws, when it comes to relationships, men love nothing more than the chase – I’ll say it again, they LOVE it. When he works hard to conquer you, his ego gets a massive boost, that being the case, you are merely robbing him of this pleasure, by acting like a predator. Making the first move is the quickest way to remind him that you are just another thirsty chick. In the beginning, he needs to understand that you have a life, remember in his eyes, you are that beautiful woman that has men climbing the walls to speak to you, not the freak who is desperate with a low self esteem.

The same applies for any contact, via text, email, Facebook, What’s app, Skype, Twitter, don’t be the woman who will go to any length to get a man’s attention. If you add him on FB or any other social network, don’t throw out subliminal messages in the hope that he will somehow take you more seriously. He won’t. No matter how many times he calls you, call him back once, (once is enough) then patiently wait for his response. When we follow the natural order of the universe i.e. the man makes the first move to get your number, the man calls you first, (instead of forcing outcomes) there is no way in hell he’ll leave you hanging, as he has instigated the conversation. When things are new a man is still excited at the prospect of having sex with you, hence he won’t forget to call you back – besides keeping a bit of mystery makes a man eager to discover more. However much a woman likes a man, it is counterproductive for her to blow up his phone at all hours of the day, as he will never, ever take her seriously. Ladies let’s be a challenge.

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What is your approach when it comes to calling a man/woman you’re dating?

Read more from this series:

Why a Man Will Never Wife a Walkover

How to Win Respect in Your Relationship

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Comments

  1. This stuff aint a lie…..i lv it.

  2. Thank you Kenneth! I write from experience. None of us are perfect, so I’m not condemning a woman’s decisions, I just hope she may reconsider next time. When I reflect on how fruitless my relationships were in the past, it becomes apparent that my initiations were simply not worth it. Admittedly there is always that flukey exception, where the woman initiates & it works out, so it’s up to the woman to decipher whether that exception is worth the risk.

  3. Mugonya John Basajjassubi says:

    Black city girl thanx for these topics. I am convinced they are going to make the world a better place and intimate relationships worth having. God bless you

  4. Thanks John for having the heart to say that. I’m truly grateful. Please pass by again.

  5. this is one of yo best writeups for mi i read it everytime to remind miself

  6. Lesson taken. thanks Blackcitygirl

  7. Great read! I must say this is really true

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